Ultimate Destination Weddings

Considering a Destination Wedding

2011-01-19T20:08:00.004-05:00

I was recently asked by a young bride-to-be about the advantages of a destination wedding over a traditional wedding. This is a hard question because it is ultimately a very personal decision.

Here are a few key reasons to have a destination wedding:

1) You Actually Spend Time With Your Guests - At a destination wedding, your guests typically stay a day or two, so there is more opportunity to interact and spend time with them compared to a standard 5-hour hometown church wedding. And because of costs, you will typically have fewer guests. We understand work and family pressures to invite certain people for "political reasons." But if your company or your family isn't picking up the cost of the wedding, they really don't get a say.

2) Cost - Destination weddings are not as expensive as you might think. In fact, most destination weddings are considerably less expensive than traditional weddings (assuming you are not paying for travel for your entire guest list).

3) Every Wedding Requires Travel Now - When was the last time you went to a wedding and nobody had to travel? For us, our wedding party and immediate family spanned four time zones. No matter where we held our wedding, over half the attendees would have to travel somewhere. So why not have everyone travel somewhere fun? The location for your wedding shouldn't just be where it's convenient, it should be just where you want to get married.

4) You Like To Travel - If you are a person that wants to see the world and travel, why not make it a part of your wedding? It's a natural fit.

5) It Minimizes Tensions - Once you've made the big decision to have a destination wedding, everything else is easy. There's less to fight about with fiancé or parents or future in-laws. Really. I promise.

So, my recommendation to everyone is to have a destination wedding. Just do it. Go anywhere – the U.S. or abroad. Just go. And be prepared to have the most amazing day of your life.

Jamaican Destination Weddings

2011-01-02T17:50:00.003-05:00

I always encourage young couples to go and visit the country and sites in advance. If you’re considering a destination wedding or a wedding in Jamaica, there’s an upcoming opportunity that you might want to consider. Online “experience seller” Rue La La is offering an upcoming package to Jamaica to stay at Half Moon in Rose Hall, Jamaica. I’ve seen this property several years ago and it is beautiful. This could also be used as a “home base” to look at other properties in Jamaica and make your selection.

If you are a member of Rue La La, the experience goes on sale on Wednesday, January 5th at 11:00am ET. If you’re not a member of Rue La La or are considering another country, now is the time when Spring deals go on sale, so start searching for deals so you can do a site visit.

Legal Considerations

2010-06-22T22:19:00.002-05:00

The first question we had in planning our destination wedding was whether the marriage would be legally recognized in the United States.

The U.S. State Department website is a good resource for U.S. citizens interested in getting married in a foreign country. Basically, the short answer is yes, it is legally binding in the United States.

In order for your marriage to be legal, you must follow the local laws and procedures of the country where you will be married. Most countries have residency requirements (the length of time before the wedding you need to be in the country). In the Bahamas, the residency requirement was one day. However, Tahiti has a residency requirement of 30 days, essentially eliminating it as a potential location for destination weddings.

In nearly all cases, you will need to produce legal documentation (usually your passports), but could also include birth certificates, death certificates (widow/widower) and/or divorce decrees. We got married in the Bahamas, which also required that we had to go through a brief interview with a local official (about 10 minutes). We did not need to do a blood test, which can be a major issue for some people getting married in some countries (including Mexico).

Couples can encounter difficulty when returning to the United States if their marriage license is not in English. To be valid in the U.S., you must have an English translation of your marriage certificate. If you get married in a former British colony (Bermuda, Bahamas, Cayman Islands, etc.), that won’t be a problem. However, if you get married in a country where the official language is other than English, be sure to investigate what it will take to get an official translation.

Also, before leaving the wedding site, you should consider getting multiple official notarized copies of your marriage certificate. When you get home, you’ll need extra copies of your license to change your name.

Shameless Plug: Nominate Us for the Best Destination Wedding Blog

2010-06-21T19:07:00.002-05:00

This is a shameless plug to our readers. Have you enjoyed reading our Ultimate Destination Weddings blog over the last four years? Have you found it beneficial in planning your destination wedding?

If so, why don’t you nominate us in for the WeddingChannel.com Best Destination Wedding Blog? We’d be very grateful!

Thanks!

Making Green Wedding Plans

2010-06-09T21:39:00.002-05:00

Couples want to make a statement about who they are and what they stand for, especially when they're planning a wedding. Whether it's about printing the invitations on recycled paper or opting for an exotic location that stresses nature for an alternative wedding, there are a ton of ways to plan a green wedding. One of the smallest ways, yet one that can make a statement for years to come (even when the wedding is over), is the bridal jewelry chosen for the occasion.

Themed Weddings Offer Best Opportunities

Having a beach wedding? Why not dress the bridesmaids and bride in shell and bead jewelry? Mother-of-pearl shells are translucent, ethereal, and natural. Pearls also make a great accent for beach weddings. Other themed weddings might include a garden setting. In that case, the jewelry can opt for natural motifs, like leaves and floral patterns. Real flowers are always a great way to dress up a wedding, and a bride, and they are renewable resources. If you are going to pick real jewelry for the bridal party as favors, opt for an organization that gives some of its proceeds to charities that help to save the environment. When you are ready to give the jewelry away as a “thank you,” your bridesmaids will be thrilled to know that a part of the cost went to help out a worthwhile cause.

When Choosing The Rings

Green couples prefer conflict-free diamonds and recycled metals for the jewelry they pick. The first is a matter of social responsibility and ethics and the second choice helps to save the world's precious resources. Another great way to reduce the impact of the occasion on the world's resources is to use a heirloom ring that's been passed down within the family. If you have a creative bent, you can even have old jewelry that you both have lying around recycled into new rings or bands.

Cruise Ship Wedding Resources

2010-06-06T15:49:00.002-05:00

As a resource for those who are interested in cruise ship weddings, here are the wedding websites for a number of cruise companies:

Carnival Cruise Lines Weddings
Celebrity Cruises Weddings
Costa Cruise Weddings
Disney Cruise Lines (Unable to locate wedding information on website)
Holland America Line Cruises (Unable to locate wedding information on website)
Norwegian Cruise Line Weddings
Princess Cruises Weddings
Royal Caribbean International Weddings

There are also all-in-one companies that coordinate your cruise ship wedding experience. Most notably is The Wedding Experience – which boasts that it is the exclusive wedding service provider for Royal Caribbean Cruise Line, Celebrity Cruise Line, Princess Cruises, Norwegian Cruise Line, Windstar Cruises and Holland America (in Europe), as well as select ports for Carnival Cruise Line. The Wedding Experience also boasts that it does over 10,000 weddings a year, so we have to wonder how much individual attention you’ll really receive (again, the “wedding-in-a-box” approach seems to apply here).

As we previously covered in Cruise Ship Weddings, cruise ship weddings can be convenient if you’re looking for a wedding-in-a-box (perhaps for a second wedding after one or both you have kids, etc.). However, if you are looking for a customized experience or a higher-end experience, cruise ship weddings may not be for you. We could be wrong and we'd love to see it if it exists, but that's our take.

Cruise Ship Weddings

2010-05-31T11:23:00.002-05:00

When we initially planned our destination wedding, we initially considered a cruise ship wedding. In theory, cruise ship weddings offer the best of both worlds – the ability to get away, while still having all the convenience of a wedding back home.

As we conducted our research, we were extremely disappointed with the options available from the cruise companies. Most cruise lines don’t want you to be able to get married “on board,” instead they offer packages before you leave (before the boat leaves home port) or during the voyage on their private island. We also found it difficult to get information from the cruise lines and nearly impossible to get someone to actually answer questions. But that was our experience.

If you are not dissuaded by our experience, the recent wedding of Andrew and Emily Pidgeon of Palm Bay, Florida should be required reading. You can read about their “wedding experience” on the Carnival Cruise Lines Sensation boat in The Sun Sentinal newspaper. If you’re considering a cruise ship wedding, read the article.

We’ve never actually seen a cruise ship wedding and can’t speak from personal experience. We wanted to write about cruise ship weddings in 2007 and contacted a number of cruise lines, but weren’t able to get a response. Perhaps in the future we’ll have the ability to see one and write about it firsthand.

In summary: Cruise companies are willing to accommodate your wedding…for a price. However, cruise companies are not set up to really cater to your specific wedding needs. Cruise companies can give you a wedding-from-a-box experience, but you need to ask yourself the question if that is really what you want.

Back for Wedding Season

2010-05-18T20:36:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the radio silence the last few months. We were on vacation in South America. We’re back!

Hilton Wedding Contest - Best Brides Forever

2010-01-28T19:48:00.007-05:00

Hilton has got a deal for you! Hilton is offering a contest for brides to win the destination wedding of their dreams called “I Do Times Two” at the The Hilton Waikoloa Village in Hawaii. But it’s a double win – a destination wedding for you…AND your best friend: one week, two weddings and one big party.

It works like this, two brides get together and submit in the essay contest. The contest will run through February 22, 2010. Hilton will judge the essays and a pair of brides will win the package of an all-expense paid wedding package, including airfare, for both couples. As a huge bonus, Hilton is putting up 15 guest rooms for BOTH brides (30 rooms total). This is HUGE because this one area where brides can help their family.

Both brides will have their wedding on the same trip sometime between Jan. 1, 2011 and March 31, 2011. Why not have your destination wedding at the Hilton Waikoloa Village on Valentine’s Day 2011?

We’ve never been to the Hilton Waikoloa Village and can’t personally vouch for the property, however, it looks terrific on the website.

Update 3/22/2010: And we have a winner!

Hilton Worldwide has named Chelsea Jones from Boulder, Colorado as the winner of the contest. She and her sister Hillary will get married over Valentine’s Day weekend 2011. The sisters are best friends and inseparable, despite problems brought on by Hillary’s health issues. Complete details on the winners are at the contest website.

Congratulations to Chelsea Jones for winning the contest!

Photo credits: Hilton Waikoloa Village

Destination Wedding Dresses at Discount Prices

2010-01-11T20:50:00.003-05:00

Few things cause brides as much anxiety as the dress. It has to be perfect. Some girls just know when they find “the one,” but others stress and labor over the decision.

I predict that 2010 will be the year of couture and homemade dresses. Why have a mass market dress when you can have something one of a kind?

Sure, there are ways to get couture designer dresses at less than couture prices. There’s the inevitable recommendation to hit up sample sales or trunk shows (ever tried to find one of these?). Of course, there’s the insanity of the Filene’s Basement “Running of the Brides” – then again, you’re shopping at Filene’s Basement and you have to go to Boston.

Then, there’s the recommendation (typically from your grandmother) that you should go to thrift shops or the modern version – Craig’s List. The idea of either of these just seems too much like being on welfare for my taste.

There are two other reasonable alternatives. The website Oncewed.com has a page where brides sell their gowns after the wedding. This is like the thrift shop or Craigslist without making you feel cheap. And if you are more socially conscious, why not buy your dress and help a good cause? Brides Against Breast Cancer has sales across the country of great dresses at reasonable prices with the proceeds going to a good cause.

Finally, there’s one more great way to get a custom wedding dress without the hassle – Etsy. The crafty website Etsy and many of its artisan vendors sell couture wedding dresses. If Etsy isn’t your style, you can try custom dress shops in your area. In this way, you can get a handmade dress designed especially for you. What can make a girl feel more special than something one of a kind?

Happy dress hunting!

Location Report: The Biltmore in Asheville, NC

2009-12-13T22:03:00.007-05:00

For us, when we think about destination weddings, they are usually intimate gatherings on some beach somewhere. However, one of the nicest wedding destinations we’ve seen recently is The Biltmore in Asheville, North Carolina.

We went to The Biltmore in Asheville for some personal relaxation time, but while we were there, we observed several weddings. It dawned on us – wow! This place makes a great wedding destination.

The Inn on Biltmore Estate makes the perfect home base for your wedding. It’s on the property, offers stunning views of the Great Smokey Mountains, has several nice restaurants and offers all the amenities you’ll need for your wedding. The hotel is rather large, but has a quaint charm since it is decorated in this French renaissance style. The staff is quite friendly and attentive.

The Biltmore House is the main event. This was originally the Vanderbilt Family’s country estate and they advertise it as America’s Largest Mansion. It is a huge mansion, meticulously maintained and thoughtfully presented. As we took the tour, we were able to look out onto the grounds and noticed there were several weddings going on. It dawned on us – this is a very romantic spot for a destination wedding.

For your ceremony and reception, there are a number of locations on the property – the lawn in front of the house (where the Biltmore serves as the backdrop), a terrace just off the house (looking out on the Great Smokey Mountains) or down in the Walled Garden (where you are surrounded by immaculate gardens and millions of flowers).

There is one downside to a destination wedding at the Biltmore – it doesn’t appear that they close down part of the facility for you. So, as you’re getting ready for your wedding, you could have tourists gawk at you (just as we gawked at folks on our visit).

Now, fair warning, we have no idea on the expense of a destination wedding at the Biltmore. I’m betting those weddings cost a pretty penny. They are gorgeous, but surely expensive. They have a wedding website, but it doesn’t have much information on it.

For the day after your wedding, consider having a brunch for you and all your guests at the Deerpark Lodge on the Biltmore property. They serve a decadent brunch in charming converted stable. It’s both rustic and sophisticated.

The Biltmore Estate is a wonderfully beautiful place and would be a romantic place for you to tie the knot.

Travel Insurance for Destination Weddings

2009-12-06T21:50:00.002-05:00

One aspect of destination weddings that people often neglect is travel insurance. Destination weddings involve travel and sometimes the worst case can happen – a trip gets cancelled due to weather, illness or something else.

Travel insurance can protect you from these cancellations and problems. If your trip gets cancelled, you can get a refund. If you should encounter a medical problem, most travel accident insurance can get you good medical care. Personally, we both carry International SOS coverage through our employers for emergency medical. However, that wouldn’t help us with the financial piece of a cancelled trip.

If you purchase travel insurance, make sure it covers trip cancellation, trip delay and medical coverage. Most insurance coverage also covers lost or stolen luggage and personal property.

Do your homework to make sure you’re getting a good policy. Be sure to read all the fine print and ask lots of questions. Also, make sure your policy will cover the wedding (or "event") portion of your trip, not just the travel part.

From our perspective, travel insurance is mandatory for a destination wedding. Given the amount of money you’re spending on your big day, it’s better than taking any chances.

Destination Wedding Planning – Organization

2009-11-22T16:25:00.003-05:00

One of the single most important things you can do in your destination wedding planning is staying organized. As you find shoes you like, locations you like, etc., you’re going to continue your research. As you pour through The Knot, how do you keep track of ideas you like?

However you want to stay organized, it’s important you do so. We recently were talking to a friend planning her destination wedding and we’re shocked at her casual “I’ve got it in my head attitude.” It’s not going to work.

How you keep organized is up to you. We utilized a project management file in Microsoft Excel to keep timelines on track. Then we pasted links and photos into a Word document to come back to later. This worked for us. A lot of ladies like to go hardcopy – keeping a big binder of printouts.

Whatever method you choose, your organizing technique should allow you to keep track of the following details:

Budget planner
Location selection (country, etc.)
Destination venue (hotel selection, etc.)
Transportation logistics
Wedding planner (if you hire a separate planner)
Wedding party and guest list (including all contact details, e-mail addresses, etc.)
Save the dates
Invitation
Ceremony scripts (sample ceremonies you like)
Reception ideas
Music/DJ
Cake ideas
Photographers and/or videographers
Wedding dress ideas (other apparel)
Hair and makeup suggestions
Wedding registry ideas

Having all of this in one place will make your life a lot easier!

Summer Sales

2009-09-13T20:51:00.003-05:00

As summer winds down, stores are having their end-of-summer sales. If you’re having a destination wedding next summer, now is a great time to stock up on things for your out-of-town bags and decorations for cheap.

This is one of the ways we saved really significant money for our wedding. The year before, we bought all of our decorations, favors and out-of-town bag items on clearance sale and then stored it over the winter before our June wedding.

Act quick before the sales disappear!

Crate & Barrel Wedding Parties

2009-09-09T21:25:00.002-05:00

Crate & Barrel is one of the more popular stores for couples to register. As readers of this blog know, we also registered at Crate & Barrel and were thrilled with our experience.

Couples should be aware that Crate & Barrel is having several wedding parties on September 13, October 4 and October 18. These events are parties with food, drinks and they usually give out a small gift if you attend.

More details can be found on the Crate & Barrel website.

Our Lucaya Resort Changes Owners

2009-08-30T14:33:00.002-05:00

As long-time readers of this blog know, we got married at the Our Lucaya Resort in the Bahamas. At the time we got married there, it was Sheraton/Westin property (Starwood Resorts). However, as of July 2009, the Our Lucaya Resort on Grand Bahama Island is now a Radisson property.

Maybe it’s just us, but we’ve always viewed Starwood to be a mid-market to high-end company. They certainly did an excellent job on our destination wedding – it was a relaxed affair, but totally classy. And we’ve always viewed Radisson to be a bit down-market. Radisson’s are the hotels near airports or corporate centers and are typically older properties. Of course, our assessment could be completely off-base, but that’s just our impression based on our travels around the world.

With Our Lucaya changing from Starwood to Radisson, it remains to be seen how this will impact the resort as a destination wedding venue. While we had a tremendous experience at Our Lucaya, we’d recommend asking a lot of questions about this property and its new management (and doing a site visit in advance) if you are considering doing a destination wedding here.

More about our wedding at Our Lucaya:

Honeymoon Registries

2009-06-21T16:07:00.003-05:00

For couples doing a destination wedding or just a standard honeymoon, a resort registry can make a lot of sense. It works like this – you register, friends and family give money to the overall honeymoon or to specific activities.

This concept has been around for a while and we looked into it for our own destination wedding. We briefly considered this approach but, at the time of our wedding, thought it wasn’t as sophisticated as we were going for.

There are two kinds of registries – a general registry and a specific registry. General registries, such as the numerous websites all over the Internet, don’t provide services for specific businesses/locations. They charge fees (some are pretty hefty at 9%) for the opportunity and then commit you to working with their “partner companies” (presumably they get a kickback from the partner companies as well). It just feels kind of cheap. And be extra weary, as some of these companies spam your guest list with repeated pleas to pony up cash (very obnoxious!).

The other kind of registry is specific to a business. Companies like Starwood, Marriott and Hyatt all have specific registries that help couples offset aspects of their honeymoon or destination wedding experience. And over the last 5 years or so, these registries have evolved into fairly classy affairs. One that we like is the Hyatt Registry because it is well run, professional and classy. It gives friends and relatives an opportunity to offset activities you might not otherwise do, but it doesn’t have a high-pressure sales pitch feel.

Regardless of whether you do a registry or not, or what kind of registry you do, you should thoroughly research it. These registries work well to offset your existing plans. You could ultimately wind up paying more if you committed to something just because of the registry. So be smart and ask some key questions to ask: Do you need to pay for the honeymoon upfront? What kind of fees do they charge? Does it lock you into working with specific vendors? How flexible are they? Does the gift expire after a certain period of time (if you don’t use it all on your honeymoon)?

Meet the Expert: Cynthia Conde, Fitness Expert

2009-06-14T21:20:00.002-05:00

In this week’s Meet the Expert column, we interview Cynthia Conde, fitness expert and creator of Bridal Bookcamp®. She is a National Academy of Sports Medicine certified trainer and has helped hundreds of brides slim down for their big day.

I don’t think there is a bride in the world that doesn’t want to look great on her wedding. How do you counsel brides to slim down?

First thing I do is have my brides do a 2 week cleanse and detox. Week 1, they begin to cut caffeine, cigarettes, processed foods, sugar and red meat from their diets. Week 2, they begin their cleanse. Week 3 and forward, its on the clean eating and hard training, until the W-Day, then its on to maintenance.

What are the biggest problem areas for brides that they should focus on before their wedding?

Biggest problem areas will always be thighs, butt and abs for most women. Although a wedding dress will cover these areas, there is still the destination wedding at a hot locale and honeymoon (bikini time) to think about. The bridal focus is to blast the upper back, biceps, triceps and forearms, and give equal attention to the butt, abs, and thighs. I teach my brides to dig deep and get in touch with their inner athletics by staying focused and training hard.

In light of the economic climate, how are brides and grooms shaping up and slimming down on a budget? Many gyms are increasing their rates and brides are finding it difficult to cope.

It's funny. There was a recent article in the New York Times that stated the fitness industry is recession proof, and I couldn't agree more. I have not experience a huge drop in brides signing up for my Bridal Bootcamp program. Although I will admit that instead of doing private Bridal Bootcamp with our instructors, some have opted for the more economical Bridal Bootcamp group program. The reason, brides will anything to look good on their wedding day!!!

As you work with brides, they talk about their destination wedding plans. What trends do you see in destination weddings as you work with your clients? How have the needs of engaged couples changed over time?

I am seeing more brides choosing destination weddings for two reasons. The idea of a getaway wedding is super romantic especially on a warm tropical beach and its sure a lot cheaper than paying for a traditional wedding. The needs of engage couples change dramatically. After, the honeymoon, the trends is to be more relax with one another, that usually leads to more eating and less activity. The winter holiday season rolls around, and add 10 to 15 pounds of excess weight. Also, when a bride become pregnant, her hubby usually gains weight as well.

What's the most dramatic change you've seen a bride make/go through?

The most dramatic change I’ve had was my first client, Pandora Kinard, who lost 100 pounds in 8 months!

How important is it to incorporate weight training?

Incorporating weight training is super important...it's the only way you will be able to harden your body. Remember to leave no area untouched.....train EVERYTHING...work on every crevice of your body. The hardest areas to hit are the inner thighs, lower abs and the crease of your butt.

What's the best way to maintain once you've reached the weight/fitness level you want before your wedding? Do you ever see whole wedding parties come in together?

The best way to maintain your body is to incorporate push ups, assisted pull ups or military, pop squats (jumping squats), abs - (best exercise leg raises and twisting crunches) and cardio (I love jumping rope and doing the strainmill, 3 to 4 times per week).

What is your important of incorporating weigh loss medication like Alli in your pre-wedding program?

I'm an organic girl. I don't push weight loss supplements. I do like whey protein, folic acid, and green drink (aloe vera juice and liquid chlorophyll) and berry drinks (antioxidant). Safe and healthy cleansing programs are the way to go. Being an efficient pooper is the key to getting rid of belly bloat and losing weight.

Meet the Expert: Steve Kemble

2009-05-19T20:56:00.005-05:00

In this week’s Meet the Expert column, we interview one of America’s top wedding planners and self-styled “America’s Sassiest Lifestyle Guru.” He’s hip, he’s funky and he’s none other than Steve Kemble. Steve is a star of several TV shows on the Style Network (Whose Wedding Is It Anyway and Married Away), We (Platinum Weddings, Married By the In-laws, and Bling on the Bride) and ABC (Extreme Makeover: Wedding Edition). He’s also the author of the Dash of Sass Blog (note: this isn’t totally wedding related).

What Trends do you see in destination weddings for 2009-2010?

The strongest trend that I am seeing in destination weddings is that couples are taking their guests' travel expenses more into consideration when selecting their destination. In years past, a couple would select a romantic and exotic destination that they had always wanted to go to, without giving much thought to how or if everyone else would be able to feasibly and economically get there. Given the current economic state of the world, I feel the trend of selecting a more budget (yet still romantic and exotic) conscious destination to travel to for all of the guests will continue to be a very strong trend.

How are the needs of engaged couples changed over time? What are they looking for now that they weren't looking for a year ago?

I feel couples today are planning their special day truly for themselves. In the past, couples were planning their weddings based more on family or cultural traditions and customs, than what they really desired. Today, couples are selecting arrangements for their wedding that truly represent themselves, versus doing what simply may be trendy or hip at the time, or related to family traditions.

If a couple is on the fence about having a destination wedding, why should they consider it?

Not to continue all the doom and gloom about the economy, yet a destination wedding can be a sound financial decision for a couple that is struggling with how they are going to pay for the wedding of their dreams...especially if they are in a big city! A destination wedding allows you to cut your guest list drastically. You can leave off a lot of business associates and friends of friends. A smaller guest list allows for a more lavish affair! Additionally, destination weddings are perfect for the couple who has family and friends scattered all over the country. If these people are going to have to travel to your wedding anyway, why not have them travel to a wonderful, fun and romantic destination to share in your big day!

What is the single biggest source of wedding drama that you see and how can couples minimize it in destination wedding planning?

When planning a destination wedding, the biggest source of drama I see is when couples select a destination they are not familiar with. As I tell all my couples, a destination wedding takes a tremendous amount of trust, or you will have an overwhelming amount of stress! To alleviate the stress, I encourage the couples to travel to the destination a minimum of one time and engage the services of, and trust a planner in the destination of their choice. In addition to having a planner in the locale of their wedding, I feel it is equally important to also have a planner to work with them at home. The advantages of having a planner in the destination are numerous. Most importantly they will help you with language and cultural barriers in addition to knowing the best vendors in the destination. Additionally, a planner in the destination will be able to help you with the best all inclusive rates at local hotel properties because you have to remember the local planner most likely plans numerous weddings at a hotel property or other venues in their home destination, whereas you are only planning your one wedding. Local planners are volume buyers and can get you the best price possible. Personally, I feel there are no disadvantages to engaging the services of a local planner in the wedding destination.

What is the most interesting and unique destination wedding you ever planned? What made it so memorable?

The most interesting and unique destination wedding I have ever planned was in Ireland. Not only is Ireland one of the most beautiful and romantic locations in the world, the couple had Irish ancestors so it made it even more special. What made the wedding so memorable was that the wedding was held in a historic castle. I actually stayed in the castle along with the couple (all in separate rooms of course!) for three days prior to the wedding. Is there anything that could be more romantic than getting married in a castle in Ireland! Additionally, the castle was located in a very small town and everyone in the community celebrated the wedding of this couple they did not even know! We went from pub to pub dancing and singing with all the locals, Irish rugby players included! It was amazing, you would have thought it was the wedding of royals! The bride said she truly felt like a fairy tale princess getting married in a castle!

What is a good size to strive for in a destination wedding?

I feel the best size for destination wedding is 80-100 guests'. This is a very manageable and cost effective size for many fabulous resorts and venues around the world.

In light of the economic climate, how are couples adjusting their destination wedding plans to cope?

They are reducing the size of their guest list and are selecting destinations that are more reasonably priced.

What is the next big thing in destination weddings that you see couples doing?

I am seeing more and more couples incorporating the traditions and cultural of the destination in which they are getting married into their wedding ceremony. Additionally, couples are doing projects with their invited guests in which they are giving back to the local community. I anticipate the aspect of helping the local community and the people that live in those destinations in some way, as the next big thing in destination weddings!

What is the single best piece of advice you would give couples prior to planning a destination wedding?

A Save the Date card is critically important if you expect your desired family and friends to attend! Most people will need to plan ahead for budget reasons and additionally to request vacation time from work reasons.

Win a Honeymoon - Jade Mountain Resort

2009-05-14T22:18:00.000-05:00

Jade Mountain Resort in St. Lucia is offering the chance to win a Honeymoon Vacation / Destination Wedding in St. Lucia. I’m not totally clear what the rules are, but you can check them out and also enter the sweepstakes here. The sweepstakes is being offered by Jade Mountain Resort and Chronicle Books.

We’ve never been to St. Lucia, but it’s high on our list! We’ve entered and will definitely post a review if we win!

Meet the Expert: Richelle Albrecht

2009-05-13T20:09:00.009-05:00

In this week’s Meet the Experts column, we interviewed Richelle Albrecht, owner of Girl Metro, Inc., a specialty invitation company in Chicago, Illinois. She is lover of beautiful paper and translates that love into specialty wedding invitations. From Maui to Barbados, Las Vegas to Cabo San Lucas, Richelle has designed invites for many of the most popular wedding destinations.

What trends do you see in destination wedding invitations?

There are several trends that are specific to destination wedding invitations - generally, a couple has chosen the destination for some unique feature that they loved - whether it's tropical weather, gorgeous scenery, or local culture. Most of the time, they want their stationery to reflect that feature though color, paper, or illustrations (or some combination of those three).

In addition to stationery that reflects some special aspect of the destination, there's a trend toward making a few days before and after the ceremony a multi-event vacation for guests. As a result, much more information must be relayed to guests, to ensure that they know about all the events that they may want to take part in, and so they can plan their trip accordingly.

For example, we've created additional invitations and enclosures for events like deep-sea fishing trips, pre- and post-wedding cocktail parties, brunches, professional baseball games, golf outings, tours, and more. Additionally, once guests arrive at the destination, we often recommend that an itinerary, map, and customized favors (with tags that match the stationery, of course) be provided in their hotel room, so that guests who are unfamiliar with the location can do some exploring and stay aware of what's going on each day.

Do destination wedding invitations tend to be more thematic than traditional weddings? What are some of the common motifs?

For tropical weddings, themes definitely seem to be more popular. We've created invitations with beach scenes and palm trees, sea shells, and the like. One of my favorites, however, was a "sea and sky" theme, which was carried out only in the use of Caribbean turquoise blue and textured turquoise, cerulean and pale blue papers which represented the sea's rippling surface.

We thought about printing our invitation in a certain way and then attaching it to a pair of flipflops and sending it to our guests. In the end, we opted for a more traditional approach. Are you seeing couples doing anything truly unique and different?

Although couples have come in with visions of invitations printed on Frisbees, paper fans, pirate maps, and playing cards, most of the time we end up creating a more traditional invitation. I think that ultimately, couples see their wedding -- wherever it takes place -- as an event which is too important to make light of. As a result, they turn to a more traditional format, or sometimes, just more traditional wording for the invitation text to illustrate that importance as well as the seriousness of their commitment to each other.

What are the most common color schemes for destination weddings?

Most often, the color schemes are suggested by the location that couples choose for their wedding.

For couples planning tropical-locale weddings, we see a lot of bright colors - Caribbean blue, vibrant greens, oranges and fuschias. For desert weddings (in Santa Fe, for example), rich terra cottas, deep reds, and deep yellows are often predominant, along with cerulean blue (for the perfect, uncloudy blue of a sunny desert sky).

Some couples prefer to go with a color scheme that reflects their personality and the tone of their wedding, however, regardless of the location. We've done black, white and red velvet for a New Year's Eve destination wedding, and black and cream for a desert wedding, too. There aren't any hard and fast rules, so we tend to look to the couples' personalities and vision for their wedding for color inspiration in addition to the colors suggested by the location.

One of the things we wondered about for our destination wedding was how far in advance to send the invitation. We sent a Save the Date about six months in advance and the wedding invites about two months in advance. Do you have any advice on timing for Save the Dates or invitations?

Sending information to guests early is crucial for a destination wedding... Guests need time to request time off from work, make travel arrangements and babysitting or pet boarding arrangements, and for truly far-flung destinations or in a rocky economy, to save up some cash. Giving guests ample time to take care of those necessities will result in more of them being able to come to the wedding.

Save the dates should be sent out at least 6 months before the wedding, and should include some basic travel and accommodation information if possible. If the wedding is going to be part of a weekend- or week- long series of events, it's a good idea to let guests know that they may want to stay on after the wedding, or arrive a few days early (or both!). Some couples also include a few notes in the save the date as to why they chose a specific destination, or things to do in that locale, as well.

The invitation should go out between two and three months ahead of the wedding, so that those who didn't take advantage of the save the date card's information can get in gear and make their travel plans. If accommodation and travel information didn't go out in the save the date cards, that's a must with the invitation. It's wise to let guests know things which will make their trip smoother, like how far the location is from the nearest airport, whether the hotels where rooms are blocked are walking distance to the ceremony and reception or if a shuttle is available, or whether guests should plan on renting a car or hiring taxis, etc.

Another timing issue to consider is response time - it's vital to get responses back well before the couple must leave for the destination! I always recommend that the "respond-by" date leaves ample time to make phone calls to those who haven't responded, and to get a final count to the contact at the ceremony and reception locations.

How do you recommend couples disseminate accommodation and travel information? We put together a website to keep couples informed, but this was very informal. However, we spent a lot of time questioning whether to include the website URL on the actual invites?

It's always better to include as much information as early as possible - either by including the specifics with or on the save the date cards, or by including a web address on the save the dates for guests to visit and stay up-to-date on travel and accommodation information.

If, when the save the date cards are sent out, the accommodation and travel information isn't finalized, it's perfectly fine to include that on an enclosure card which is mailed with the invitation. In such cases, though, I generally recommend mailing the invitations out as early as possible.

Beyond invites, what else do couples need to remember to bring for their destination weddings?

Couples should think through their celebration, and pinpoint items that would be helpful both to guests, and to their plans. For example, here's the stationery needs we determined for a Cabo San Lucas wedding last year:

- Save the date cards
- Wedding invitation, including: weekend itinerary information, travel information (airline discount code, shuttle info from airport to hotel, hotel reservation information), response card including attendance options for pre- and post- wedding events, and a note about the location and why it was special to the couple
- Hotel welcome kit: weekend itinerary with taxi, shopping and restaurant information, directions to all of the pre- and post- wedding events as well as the ceremony, start times for pre-wedding events, ceremony, cocktail hour and reception and post-wedding events, contact information for the wedding planner (who was fielding guest questions), tags for bottled water and a note thanking guests for traveling to the wedding
- Custom name tags for welcome cocktail party
- Sandalwood fans for the outdoor ceremony, with small ceremony programs attached with ribbon
- Escort Cards (directing guests to their table) with ribbon for hanging
- Menus
- Charitable donation cards with wide ribbon which wrapped around each dinner plate, keeping the card and the menu in place at each place setting (the dinner was held out of doors, so wind was a concern)
- Additional wide ribbon, by the spool, which could be used as decor on chairs, pergola frames, and added to the bride's bouquet
- Thank you cards to send out to guests after the couple returned from the honeymoon

How have the needs of engaged couples changed over time? What are they looking for now that they weren't looking for a year ago?

We're seeing a trend toward more intimate weddings, with couples looking for fewer invitations and more announcements, particularly for destination weddings. Additionally, the over-the-top luxury which many couples wanted for their invitations last year seems to be falling out of vogue - simplicity and elegance is definitely back in style this year.

What is the next big thing in destination weddings that you see couples doing?

I see a couple of trends for destination weddings - a big trend this year is couples moving toward eco-friendly materials for all aspects of the wedding. We've had tons of requests for seeded (plantable) paper, which guests can plant and have a living reminder of a couple's wedding, as well as environmentally-friendly favor options.

A second trend this year is couples using vintage postcards with images of the wedding destination as save the date cards, with the save the date information printed via letterpress in the "message" space on the back. Each card is unique, and some couples go so far as to use vintage postage stamps, as well.

As a wedding vendor with your company Girl Metro, what is the single biggest piece of advice you would want to give couples prior to their destination weddings? What do you wish couples who contact you would know about working with a wedding vendor?

Wow, that's a big question! I think the single most important thing for any couple is that they have a clear idea of what the wedding will be like (which is easier said than done!). If a couple has a clear vision of their wedding, it becomes easy for them to decide which items fit that vision, and which do not -- whether it's the stationery, the bridesmaid's dress, or anything else.

There are a few things that I wish couples knew when they contacted me about creating their wedding stationery:

Budget is really important - I don't want a couple to fall in love with something that won't fit their budget. It's heartbreaking for them, and it's an awful feeling for me. That's not to say that a couple must be explicit about how much money they want to spend, but it's much easier for me to gauge what will be appropriate if I have some parameters. ("We want to spend about $12 per invitation suite," for example, or "We expected to spend between $2000 and $2500 for all of our stationery.")

The second thing is how many invitations a couple truly needs. Many, many couples mistakenly request a number of invitations which is actually the number of invited guests, not the number of invitations they must mail. Even it the guest list isn't 100% complete, having a good idea of how many invitations will be needed will allow a vendor to give the couple a more accurate estimate of cost.

Finally, it's a good idea for a couple to talk through the process with each vendor that they are considering, and to request samples (particularly for an invitation vendor), so that there are no surprises. For the same reason, couples should be sure that there is a written contract with the estimated cost, what that cost includes (exactly), as well as any terms and conditions, before they make any final decisions. Having that information up front will help a couple determine how efficient a vendor is with communication, how professional he or she is, and how responsive he or she is to their needs; all of which will help alleviate stress for the couple.

Meet the Expert: Lara Weiss

2009-05-05T21:26:00.012-05:00

In this week’s Meet the Experts column, we interviewed Lara Weiss, the Managing Director of K Hotels. As a veteran in the hospitality industry, Ms. Weiss directs operations at this collection of boutique hotels around the world – many are popular with couples having destination weddings.

What trends do you see in destination weddings?

Destination weddings are small, around 40 people, and currently I am seeing a lot go to Costa Rica. Previously Mexico, Puerto Vallerta and Cabo, were the hot spots but with the negative publicity Mexico is receiving, Costa Rica’s popularity seems to be growing. Also flights to Costa Rica are at a great price point for the attendees.

How have the needs of engaged couples changed over time?

Couples seem to be older now, late 20’s early 30’s and now they don’t want a huge extravaganza, but rather close friends in a amazing location. Luxury at a value is very important.

From Greece to San Francisco and from Brazil to Bali, K Hotels has luxury, boutique properties all over the world. Which K Hotel locations are the most popular for destination weddings?

Costa Rica, we have amazing hotels in several cities all over the world but the majority of our clients are US based and for the US traveler it’s not feasible to do a wedding in Bali with the cost of flights, but Costa Rica, on the other hand, is a great value for an incredible destination. Puerto Rico is another popular destination.

If a couple is on the fence about having a destination wedding, why should they consider it?

How many guests they really want at their wedding, but making the decision to have a destination wedding you significantly cut down on your guest list. Couples should also consider, flights, hotel accommodations, distance from airport, because then the guests will have to rent a car, or hire transportation. All in all it comes down to who you really want at your wedding, and making it as easy as possible for those that do make the trip. At K Hotels we are happy to assist from the moment each guest lands in their preferred destination to the moment they leave. We work with world class concierges and have partnerships globally that allow us to offer first class service to our clients.

What is the typical size of a destination wedding at one of your properties?

About 40 is a typical wedding.

In light of the economic climate, how are couples adjusting their destination wedding plans to cope?

Destination weddings typically are less expensive for the bride and groom because the guest list is significantly smaller, however the cost falls to the attendees. In my experience, I have seen several attendees make the destination wedding the family vacation as well, to help justify the cost, and the hotels are always willing to work with the guests offering the discounted group rates pre and post.

What is the next big thing in destination weddings that you see couples doing? (spas, themed weddings, etc.)

Destination Weddings seem to take a more modest approach. Barefoot on the beach, tan suits instead of tux’s, casual meals, a more relaxed and inviting environment.

What is the single biggest piece of advice you would want to give couples prior to their destination weddings?

Think of your guest list, who do you really want to share your wedding with, and know that destination weddings will generate a lot of “no responses” to RSVP’s. Pick a destination where someone can turn it into a vacation.

What do you wish couples who contact your firm would know about working with a wedding location?

Be specific with what you want, and be willing to go out early and check out the location, I do not recommend planning wedding based on photos. Interview vendors, florists, photographers, and be sure to see examples of their work at your specific property and be open to working with the on property team, they know their hotel better than anyone and will be honest with their answers.

Meet the Expert: Larissa Banting

2009-04-29T20:06:00.010-05:00

In this week’s Meet the Experts column, we interviewed Larissa Banting, APR, PBC, President of Weddings Costa Rica. Banting has been doing destination weddings in Costa Rica for several years. After struggling to plan her own wedding in Costa Rica, she decided to start a company that could provide full-service destination wedding services. Banting also writes The Lazy Bride blog.

What trends do you see in destination weddings?

I see couples looking for ways to make the wedding more personal, adding in unique touches. Signature cocktails are big as are bringing in unique experiences for their guests during the reception, such as having a cigar roller or a coffee expert to lead them in a mini-coffee tasting experience. We also see couples providing group excursions (such as zip lining, sunset boat cruises, sport fishing) to help bond their family and friends, many whom are meeting for the first time at the wedding.

How have the needs of engaged couples changed over time? What are they looking for now that they weren’t looking for a year ago?

Well, if I didn’t say the economy has had a huge hand in changing how people approached anything in Life, I’d be negligent. Cutting costs, finding ways to make the dollar stretch and keeping the guest list to a minimum are all the catch phrases we’re hearing on a daily basis. I think this is why destination weddings are gaining in popularity, since it’s an easy way to cut the guest list down dramatically.

If a couple is on the fence about having a destination wedding, why should they consider it?

A destination wedding offers couples many advantages. Foremost, marrying away cuts down on the guest list, since usually only the closest family and friends will attend. And a smaller guest list means less strain on the budget. Etiquette-wise, you are NOT expected to pay for your guests’ travel or hotels.

Marrying in a foreign country is usually much cheaper than marrying at home. For example, here in Costa Rica, our clients say they would have paid anywhere from 2 to 4 times the money they did for a similar wedding in their home town. Being a ‘developing nation’, prices for food, drink, flowers, décor, etc. are much cheaper.

A destination wedding usually means a beautiful location (ie a beach or rainforest) that you cannot find ‘at home’. A stunning locale makes for amazing wedding setting and photos. Much more memorable than a hotel ballroom. And a unique location means you can save a lot of money on décor.

Undoubtedly, though, the wonderful thing about destination weddings is having a unique travel experience with your guests. This is the thing our clients tell us over and over – how much they’ve enjoyed having the time to spend with everyone, creating lifelong memories. And best of all, the bride and groom are able to be guests at their own wedding, rather than running around dealing with all the last minute details they would have had they had the wedding at home.

We’ve been to Costa Rica before, visiting Tortuguero, Tambor, San Jose, Arenal and Monteverde. What the most popular destination wedding locations in Costa Rica?

While each of those areas are lovely and unique, none of those locations are super popular. We do the odd wedding in Arenal or Monteverde but by far, the beaches are where people want to marry. We have done some weddings in Tambor but given the difficulty of travelling there (either by ferry or small plane), it’s not on the top of the list. By far, the beach areas of Manuel Antonio (with it’s gorgeous beaches fringed by the rainforest), the beaches around Jaco/Playa Herradura (home to Los Suenos Marriott Resort and the incredible Villa Caletas boutique hotel) and the beaches up in the northwest area of Guanacaste (Tamarindo, Flamingo, Ocotal, Papagayo) are where 95% of the weddings take place. Other popular spots are Mal Pais/Santa Teresa (up from Tambor – difficult to get to but beautiful foilage and beaches make the journey worth it).

What are the marriage requirements for Costa Rica? Is it easy to obtain a marriage license? Is there a residency requirement, or could someone get married during a shore excursion on a cruise?

Unlike other locations, Costa Rica has very straightforward marriage requirements. You could marry literally the moment you walk off the plane or boat (our firm plans weddings for a luxury German cruise ship where they are in port for only a few hours here). By law, any wedding performed outside of a Catholic Church requires a lawyer to witness it and prepare all the paperwork. Our lawyer sends a questionnaire to the couple before the wedding (name, profession, if they’d been married before and if so, details on the divorce, etc.) and they just need to send that back with a scan of their passport photos. The lawyer can perform the ceremony or a family friend, pastor, rabbi – whomever the couple wishes as long as the lawyer is present to witness it. And you can have the ceremony totally personalized – feel free to include sand ceremonies, hand fasting, readings, whatever you want to make this day special for you. At some point (either during or after the ceremony), the couple and two witnesses sign the paperwork in front of the lawyer, who then registers the marriage in the civil registry of Costa Rica. It can take up to 90 days for this process but the couple is legally married from the moment they sign the papers. After the papers have been stamped and registered, they are sent to the couple’s home and they just present them to their local bureau of vital statistics to register their marriage took place abroad. That’s it. Very straightforward.

What makes Costa Rica unique as a wedding destination? What are things that can be done only in Costa Rica?

I think Costa Rica is unique for a wedding destination for the same reason it’s a one-of-a-kind spot on Earth. Although it’s small (about the size of West Virginia), it is the most bio-diverse place on the planet. We have 13 micro-climates here, so the landscape is incredibly varied. With two oceans, a mountain range, rainforests, cloudforests, volcanoes, vast savannahs, jungles, small towns and modern cities, there is something for everyone. It is an eco-paradise, with 26% of the country protected via national parks or reserves. Where else can you be on a beach, surrounded by rainforest as white-face monkeys chatter overhead while you exchange your vows against a heart-stopping sunset?

In addition to the flora and fauna, Costa Rica is a safe destination. We have the longest-running democracy in Latin America and have had no army since 1949 (prompting the nickname ‘The Switzerland of the Americas’). The water is potable so you can eat and drink without concern. And the Costa Ricans are some of the nicest folks you’ll ever meet. They love their country and are more than happy to share it with travelers. Lots of things to do, from white water rafting to zip lining, hiking, bird watching, golfing, sportfishing, spas, lounging by a beach, mountain biking, and, of course, surfing!

Unlike other tropical locales, the focus is on boutique hotels, rather than monstrous chains. And by law, all beaches are public. We are not encumbered by rules and regulations about beach use (so you can have that cocktail hour on the beach). The one law that is enforced is no permanent structures within 50 metres of the high tide mark – which means the beaches are not choked by buildings. You can stand on the beach and all you’ll see is palm trees.

We have two very distinct cultures in Costa Rica – on the Atlantic side, you’ll find strong Caribbean influences (reggae) and the rest of the country has strong Latin roots. Popular Costa Rican touches for weddings include Latin guitar trios, Salsa bands, traditional marimba bands (wooden xylophones which are the national instrument) and carnivale (similar to what you see in Rio de Jinero).

What is the most interesting and unique destination wedding you ever planned? What made it so memorable?

Wow, tough question! We’ve coordinated over 300 weddings so it’s difficult to just choose one. A recent wedding had the groom ride in on a white horse which was pretty amazing. Another wedding had touches of East Indian wedding traditions (as the groom was part Indian). We had an amazing rehearsal dinner at a private residence’s backyard on the beach. Lots of bright tropical colours, we used fruits filled with orchids to decorate and lights strung from the trees overhead. Delicious bbq with local fare (fresh dorado, local beef) and then the bride and her friends donned gorgeous saris and surprised the groom (and guests) with an expertly choreographed Bollywood number!

The wedding the next day was in the gardens in front of the beach. We had a bamboo ‘mandap’ and the country’s only sitar player accompanied the couple as they performed a modified Hindu wedding ceremony. After the ceremony, a local Latin guitar trio entertained during the cocktail hour. Then, after the sun had just set, a fire dancing troupe performed and then, with drums beating and torches blazing, led the 102 wedding guests across the street to the open-aired reception around one of the largest pools in Central America. Talk about an entrance! After dinner, everyone danced around and in the pool. Truly magical. What made it so memorable was how effortlessly we were able to weave in touches of the groom’s culture without it seeming ‘forced’ or obvious. And the unexpected touches, like the Bollywood number and the fire dancers leading the celebrations, are the things of a Hollywood movie. Different and truly memorable.

What is the typical size of a destination wedding that you see in Costa Rica?

Although we work with clients with weddings ranging in size from just the couple to celebrations of 200+, the average wedding we see is around 40 – 50 people.

In light of the economic climate, how are couples adjusting their destination wedding plans to cope?

Many are lowering their expectations for the final guest count, understanding that a trip abroad just isn’t in the cards for many people right now. Some clients have graciously paid for different aspects of their guests’ travel experience. One very generous couple paid for the group excursions (zip line tour, sailing tour) as well as their transport to/from the airport/hotel and then subsidized each hotel night by $50 to help their guests. Other couples have paid for hotel rooms, transport or a tour. This is not expected but for some couples, given the guest list for their wedding in Costa Rica is smaller than what they’d have had in North America, choose to allocate the money their saving by having a destination wedding to aide their guests’ travel.

What is the next big thing in destination weddings that you see couples doing?

We’re seeing more rehearsal dinners with everyone included and more farewell brunches. I think couples are really trying to make the most of their wedding weekend and maximizing the time people have together. Also, having a group excursion is gaining popularity.

As a wedding vendor with your company, Weddings Costa Rica, what is the single biggest piece of advice you would want to give couples prior to their destination weddings? What do you wish couples who contact you would know about working with a wedding vendor?

My advice is to go with the flow (guess that applies to any wedding anywhere though, eh?). Remember that you’re coming to what is still considered to be a Third World country. That means that things don’t happen in a New York minute. While we work with the most professional vendors and hotels, we aren’t in North America so be prepared for things to happen at a more generous pace than you may be used to. And once you get down here, you’ll more than likely fall into ‘Tico Time’ as well. People who are relaxed have a much better time and I find the Universe conspires beautifully to create magic for them.

Be realistic about where you’re coming to. If you want a big church wedding with a reception in a loft filled with Lilies of the Valley and ice sculptures, this isn’t the place for you. Embrace what Costa Rica has to offer and use it to its fullest. Doing so will not only lower everyone’s stress level but will make the wedding unique and memorable.

My other advice is to hire a wedding planner. I know that may sound self-serving but I’ve had brides who decided to ‘save some money’ by going through the hotel directly or trying to do it on their own and have written me afterwards saying they’d wished they’d hired us instead. Costa Rica is not Canada or the USA. This is likely the biggest, most expensive party you will ever throw so why not leave it to a professional who knows the country, knows the vendors and knows how to ensure everything runs smoothly on the day? Doing so will not only save you money in the long run but time and a lot of stress.

Hire a planner that you have a good relationship with. You’ll be working with them a lot so you want to have someone you trust, you like and feel comfortable with. And once you’ve hired that planner, trust them that they are going to make the best recommendations and choices for your wedding vision. Give them feedback and be honest and open if you aren’t sure about something. No one is a mind reader so be upfront about what your expectations are since disappointment occurs when they aren’t met.

Finally, partner with a good travel agent in the country to look after all the travel as this is usually the biggest barrier guests have to attending a destination wedding. An agency in-country will be far better equipped to handle questions, transport, tours, etc. than an agency in another country. The last thing you as a couple want to deal with is travel logistics for all your guests – leave it to a pro.

Meet the Expert: Jennifer Carfagno

2009-04-22T22:32:00.005-05:00

In this week’s Meet the Experts column, we interviewed Jennifer Carfagno, the wedding planning expert at The Weather Channel. She writes the “Ask Jen” section on the Wedding Planner tool on Weather.com and is also the travel analyst on TWC’s morning program, First Outlook.

What trends do you see in destination weddings for 2009-2010?

I definitely have noticed more requests for weather information for outdoor weddings near hometowns vs. island or other exotic destinations. It seems like Brides are still making the event a weekend destination, but instead to a location that perhaps is easier to travel to for the wedding.

Since most destination weddings are held outside, weather obviously plays an important part of the wedding. What things do couples need to consider?

Of course, every bride would love a sunshine guarantee for their wedding day! We can't do that, but we can help couples focus on the typically dry times of year for their location. It's also important to keep in mind not only the average temperatures for the date, but also how far the temperature can swing above or below that average - we can help with that too.

Are there general rules-of-thumb about areas or regions to consider with respect to weather?

There are definitely some rules of thumb to follow. The rainy season in the Caribbean (whether due to summertime thundershowers or hurricanes) is in the later summer and early fall. Hawaii's rainy season is during the winter, but even then, the weather is usually quite nice. Europe can be cold and wet during the winter, but August can also be quite hot, too. We have a great guide on Weather.com - Where to Go When: Best Weather by Wedding Month.

How can couples minimize weather-related difficulties for their destination weddings?

Couples should definitely try to plan their outdoor wedding during the dry and mild season. But they should also find out the possible weather extremes, and have a contingency plan for those as well. For example, the possibility of a record-breaking 95 degree day when you were expecting 70 degrees will be much easier to handle if you at least know that the tent can be air-conditioned.

When we were planning our destination wedding in the Bahamas in June, we spent a lot of time thinking about the weather. As much as we enjoyed planning the wedding, we didn’t like to think about the contingency plan in case of rain. How do we get past it?

No one wants to plan for rain on their wedding day! But in an island location, it certainly is a possibility. Embrace your wedding day weather. Make it fun, make it part of your day. Give umbrellas as favors! Get pictures in it - rain or shine. After all, it's the backdrop for your wedding story.

How have the needs of engaged couples changed over time? What are they looking for now that they weren’t looking for a year ago?

Weather and weather forecasting is so much a part of our pop culture. And everyone seems to be savvier about the limits of weather predictions. When we first launched Wedding Planner on www.weather.com, I received a lot of requests for specific forecasts a year out, even two. Now, most brides and couples are inquiring about the rainy season, dry season, and "odds" of a bad weather day. Those requests we can answer!

In light of the economic climate, how are couples adjusting their destination wedding plans to cope? Are couples looking at different locations?

More and more brides and couples have been requesting weather information for destination weddings close to home, as opposed to on island or exotic locations. They still very much have a "destination wedding" feel to them, just at a local lake instead of at a white-sand beach, for example.

Is there anything that we haven’t asked that you want to share your thoughts on?

June is known as the most popular month for weddings, but I see October as the new June. Especially in light of more people planning destination weddings in the continental U.S. October is one of the driest months of the year across our country, humidity is often low, temperatures are comfortable, and it often boasts that brilliant azure blue sky that is a great backdrop for pictures.

God Awful Wedding Presents

2009-04-21T20:12:00.002-05:00

We recently posted about couples giving each other wedding presents. Some gentleman posted a comment asking about giving his wife a Babylicious necklace of himself. Babylicious are engraved etchings from designer Barry Kronen. Our initial reaction was that this was probably a joke. However, at the risk he’s serious, we need to address this.

Big gold jewelry is either very ethnic or very dated (circa 1990s). If ethnic jewelry fits your cultural demographics, OK. If not, seriously rethink this. A wedding present should be either extremely meaningful or classy. A Babylicious necklace of yourself probably doesn’t qualify.

You’re going to get enough god awful wedding presents, you don’t need to add another one. Our worst wedding present was a couple’s devotional – great if you’re Christian, embarrassing if you’re not, super awkward when the author is a Christian minister in the midst of having an affair…with a man.

Meet the Expert: Donnie Brown

2009-04-16T19:25:00.005-05:00

In this week’s Meet the Experts column, we interview Donnie Brown – wedding expert and host of the Style Network show Whose Wedding is it Anyway? Donnie has planned and executed more than 2,000 weddings, including many destination weddings.

How have the needs of engaged couples changed over time? What are they looking for now that they weren’t looking for a year ago?

A year ago people were less worried about the economy and their wedding expenses. They are definitely looking for better deals now than they were then. Everyone has had to pull back their budget due to the fact that so many people have lost money in the stock market. Therefore, good deals are at the forefront of their minds when planning their weddings. Last year it was about saving the ecology. Now it is still about green but more about leaving some green in their pocket.

What trends do you see in destination weddings for 2009-2010?

a. If you are getting married in a non-English speaking country, in order to forgo any hassles, consider getting married legally at home perhaps with a justice of the peace and then get married symbolically at your destination wedding.

b. There is a resort in Fiji that has been built totally underwater. You can actually reside at the upscale resort called Poseidon and get married 40 feet under water. There are 24 underwater suites as well as event venues.

If a couple is on the fence about having a destination wedding, why should they consider it?

Couples are opting for destination weddings these days due to the economy and their personal wedding budget and its limitations. When you do a wedding at a destination, you can generally control your guest list by virtue of realizing many of the guests that would have come to your wedding had it been local will not be able to pay for the extra related expenses incurred by traveling to a location. Many couples are alleviating the large cost by doing the wedding in the Caribbean or Mexico so that it is not so far for them, and the immediate family and closest friends will hopefully still be able to make it. If they go abroad for their nuptials, they may find that they have limited themselves to only a small handful of people.

On the show Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?, we see a lot of wedding drama and weddings are notorious for drama. What is the single biggest source of wedding drama that you see and how can couples minimize it in our destination wedding planning?

Many couples have problems making decisions about how many people to invite to their wedding. It is a real source of concern because the more people you invite, the more the wedding will cost. They are concerned about diluting their wedding funds with guests that they have never met or perhaps seen since they were very young. There are some things that cost the same whether or not you have a large guest count or a small one such as attire and entertainment. But the big ticket items such as floral/décor and food and beverage can increase greatly for every person added to the list. Another good reason for destination weddings. The one thing to note here is that you can lose a cherished family member by doing a destination wedding such as a grandparent who cannot afford or is unwilling to travel a long distance. As for the drama; I have seen more family and couple fighting over the guest count and budget than any other component of the wedding. It all boils down to the budget.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using a wedding coordinator for destination weddings?

When you plan a destination wedding there are many cultural and communication difficulties depending on where you plan your event. A wedding planner who is up to speed on these issues can alleviate the problems by cutting through the difficulties and ensure a trouble-free and perfect event. You don’t always have to hire the local wedding planner to travel to the wedding site and oversee the wedding implementation. Often, if the wedding is planned for you by your coordinator, you can then rely on the wedding expert at the destination to pick up the ball after the planning is complete and carry out your wishes with perfection.

What is the most interesting and unique destination wedding you ever planned? What made it so memorable?

I very much enjoyed the wedding we did on Married Away Season one. It was in Jamaica at Half Moon Resort and that is one of my favorite places on earth. It is a lovely location with people that treat every single person on property as if they were royalty. Celebrities flock to this resort every year because of the expert staff and incredible customer service. I recommend anyone looking for a tropical wedding to look into this resort. It is situated on 450 acres of private and secure land and has spared no expense in creating the perfect vacation and wedding location site for adults or families. And being in Jamaica, it is near the US and convenient for travel.

Destination weddings tend to be a little smaller than traditional weddings. In your opinion, what is a good size to strive for in a destination wedding?

Most destination weddings that I plan have between 25 to 40 guests including the couple. However, I have planned destination weddings with up to 175 people. It has everything to do with the couple, their guests, their pocketbook and their willingness to travel to be there for the wedding.

What is the next big thing in destination weddings that you see couples doing?

I think that more couples will be doing weddings on cruise ships. The cruise lines are becoming more interested in creating packages for larger groups that make the ticket price more affordable. As well, you can actually plan your wedding on one of the destinations the ship has scheduled on its itinerary. You can have your ceremony on the beach on a remote island all created and conducted by the cruise line’s personnel. Then, you can have the reception on board the ship. It is also a wonderful way for people to be able to be together when they want and have separation from the rest of the group when they want.

As a vendor with Donnie Brown Weddings & Events, what is the single biggest piece of advice you would want to give couples prior to their destination weddings? What do you wish couples who contact you would know about working with a wedding vendor?

A wedding planner is a must. You need a planner to insure your dreams are carried out perfectly. Don’t try to do this on your own. As well, try to have a list of questions pre-prepared for every person you are hiring to implement a component of your wedding. It is critical that you know everything you need to know about every vendor and insure that nothing slips through the cracks. I once had a local vendor on an island arrange for a disc jockey to supplement the steel drum band to cut costs. The DJ showed up with a two CD changer and no music. It was fun to run around finding music to actually have something to play for dancing. The African-American couple had Michael Buble for their first dance. Probably not what they had in mind, but in the end it worked.

Wedding Weight Loss

2009-04-09T21:45:00.003-05:00

For many women, weight loss goes hand-in-hand with getting married. No one wants to wear a white (a notoriously slimming color, right?) dress and look unappealing in their wedding photos. Plus, most girls grow up waiting for their wedding day to be the best day of their life, so of course they want to look and feel their best.

An entire industry has been built around losing weight in preparation for the wedding. Everything from Bridal Bootcamp and Buff Brides to your local fitness club promise to help women get in shape for their special day. While I admit that my destination wedding (and particularly my wedding dress) was a huge motivation to slim down, I really wanted to get healthier and more toned as a life change. That meant the tried and true standby of eating less and moving more.

One tool that was particularly helpful in my journey to get healthy was SparkPeople.com. SparkPeople is a totally free website that helps you keep track of what you eat and how much you exercise, but it allows help you set other goals such as drinking enough water, stopping self-critical thoughts and doing things for others. It's certainly a weight loss website, but it's also about overall wellness. The site also features numerous message boards that provide a lot of support from people going through the same experiences.

From the time of our engagement to our wedding, I lost 75 pounds. When I ordered my dress 9 months before the wedding, I ordered the size I was at the time -- I've lost and regained weight in the past and didn't want to get stuck with a dress that was too small. By the time my destination wedding rolled around, I couldn't have been more excited to have it taken in several sizes.

There are a lot of different programs out there. You just need to find the one that works with you and stick with it. If I can lose 75 pounds before my wedding, anyone can do it!

Wedding Presents

2009-04-03T19:23:00.002-05:00

In some cultures, the giving of small gifts between the wedding couple is an important part of the wedding tradition. In recent years, that tradition has gone mainstream and many couples exchange small gifts. And in the bigger-is-better world we live in, the small wedding gifts have given way to larger and more elaborate tokens of affection.

For us, we decided that we would not buy each other presents for the wedding. Like many couples, we were paying for our own destination wedding ourselves and we did not need the additional expense. Dear husband decided to skip on our agreement and purchased me a beautiful pair of black Tahitian pearl earrings as a wedding surprise. And was I surprised!

When we returned from the honeymoon, I looked into buying my husband a nice leather briefcase (he’s a big fan of Bric’s bags). Even if you don’t want do something expensive, a small, meaningful wedding gift can be an important part of your wedding experience.

Meet the Experts

2009-03-29T11:42:00.000-05:00

For the last several years, we have been sharing our experiences on this blog. But the commentary has been just that – our experience. However, over the next few months, we will be interviewing of experts in the field of destination weddings and sharing those conversations with you. We are extremely excited by this and look forward to sharing their recommendations with you.

Watch for our Meet the Experts column soon!

Destination Weddings 101

2009-03-15T18:47:00.000-05:00

We want to revisit the basics of destination weddings.

For us, a destination wedding isn’t just a “wedding away” or “elopement.” Sure, it’s possible to get married someplace else (geographically speaking). And while that is a wedding away, it does not count as a destination wedding in our book.

For us, a true destination wedding is a wedding in which the destination itself becomes an important and essential part of the wedding experience. The destination itself ties into the overall theme of the wedding. And the experience of the wedding could not be repeated in a different location.

For us destination weddings differ from eloping because the venue itself is important. When eloping, the venue becomes secondary (or is not important at all). Historically, eloping meant getting married in secret. We don’t subscribe to that definition. For us eloping is just getting married “someplace else,” but the someplace doesn’t really matter. It could be Las Vegas or some other city because it is convenient. It could be a neighboring town or in a different country.

It’s important for you to decide if you want an elopement (wedding away) or a true destination wedding. It is critical for you to know in your mind exactly what you want. Some venues and locations try to sell “destination weddings” that are nothing more than elopements. You need to ask questions of the venue and ensure that their idea of a destination wedding matches yours.

Location Report: Destination Weddings in Dubai

2009-03-01T11:25:00.005-05:00

We recently returned from the UAE and Dubai. Dubai is amazing and there are some fantastic beach resorts there. Of particular note, we enjoyed the Habtoor Grand resort and the One and Only.

However Dubai is located in the Islamic state of the United Arab Emirates (UAE). Civil weddings are not possible. You need to get married in a church. It is extremely helpful if you are both of the same religion as mixed-religion marriages introduce a significant level of complexity. A blood test is required. And perhaps most difficult is that Dubai and the UAE explicitly prohibit those in the country on a visitor’s visa from marrying (effectively eliminating the country as a potential destination wedding hotspot).

This is a shame since Dubai and the UAE are so idyllic. Warm winter weather, killer beaches, tremendous shopping and amazing restaurants could make Dubai the must-go-to location for trendy destination weddings. If Dubai Ruler Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum allowed his country to modernize, Dubai and the UAE could be a major center for destination weddings.

The Legality of Destination Weddings

2009-02-08T21:38:00.003-05:00

The first question we had in planning our destination wedding was whether the marriage would be legally recognized in the United States.

The U.S. State Department actually has a website for U.S. citizens interested in getting married in a foreign country.

You need to follow the legal procedures of the country where you will be married. Most countries have residency requirements (the length of time before the wedding you need to be in the country). In the Bahamas, the residency requirement was one day. However, Tahiti has a residency requirement of 30 days, essentially eliminating it as a potential location for destination weddings.

You will need to produce legal documentation (usually your passports), but could also include birth certificates, death certificates (widow/widower) and/or divorce decrees. Since this was the first marriage for both us, we only needed our passports and copies of our birth certificates. In the Bahamas, we also needed to go through a brief interview with a local official (about 10 minutes). We did not need to do a blood test, which can be a major issue for some people getting married in some countries (including Mexico).

The other major issue that people encounter is getting their marriage certificates/licenses translated into English (which is required for your marriage to be legal in the U.S.). The official language of the Bahamas was English, so we did not have any troubles. We wisely obtained multiple notarized copies of our license, which came in handy when we got home. We needed extra copies of the license for the name change.

Destination weddings can introduce some additional hopes you might need to jump through with respect to legal issues, but it is not a major problem.

Health Considerations for Destination Weddings

2009-01-20T22:10:00.001-05:00

Given the tendency for ever more increasingly exotic destination weddings, health considerations can be extremely important. Some of the places where people have destination weddings are in remote places in the developing world. It is important to make sure your vaccinations are up to date. The more remote your wedding and honeymoon locations, the more critical this becomes.

There’s good reason to do so, more than half of Americans traveling abroad will become sick. Of these, about 8% will need to see a doctor. That’s almost a 1-in-10 chance of needing medical attention. The good news is that the most common illnesses are for diarrhea or skin conditions (rash, sunburn, etc.). When you travel for your destination wedding, you should take medication in case you get sick.

But there are other illnesses that can’t be treated with over-the-counter medications. All travelers should be up to date on their normal immunizations, which include: diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, polio, MMR (measles, mumps and rubella), penumococcus, H.influenza type B, and the annual flu vaccine. Different countries might require additional vaccines: Hepatitis A, hepatitis B, meningococcal disease, typhoid fever and possibly rabies. Of this latter group, hepatitis A is the most important since it can be transmitted by impure food or water.

This shouldn’t scare or alarm you. Most resorts, even in the developing world, are very safe and should not concern you. However, it’s your wedding and honeymoon – do you want to take the risk? The vaccinations are good for many years (some for life), so the temporary discomfort and inconvenience is worth the risk to make sure you are protected.

Has Ann Taylor Canceled Celebrations?

2009-01-17T21:25:00.001-05:00

We’re going to a friend’s destination wedding later this month and I need a light blue dress. From past experience, we’ve had very good luck with Ann Taylor Celebrations line (both at our own wedding and for a friend's wedding). However, our local Ann Taylor store seems to have stopped carrying it and I’m wondering if Ann Taylor has cancelled the Celebrations line (seriously disappointing!).

The Ann Taylor Celebrations line has been a godsend to destination wedding brides. The dresses are good quality, relatively inexpensive, can be obtained at stores nationwide and come in a wide range of sizes so alterations are minimal.

I hope this is a temporary outage and not a full cancellation of the Celebrations line.

U.S. Wedding Travel

2009-01-11T14:19:00.004-05:00

Over the last few months, we have been traveling back and forth to Europe quite a bit. Through our travels, we’ve met many young people from Europe traveling to the U.S. for destination weddings.

If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. In the U.S., there are more locations, more options, more venues and more vendors. Given the weaknesses of the U.S. dollar against the Euro, it’s also a lot cheaper for them (although the dollar has bounced back a little over the last two months).

With that said, there are big changes to the U.S. Visa Waiver Program coming tomorrow. The Visa Waiver Program is for residents of certain countries to travel to the U.S. without a visa – mostly Western European countries.

Effective tomorrow, if you are part of the Visa Waiver Program (i.e., you don’t need a visa to travel to the U.S.), you must still register with the U.S. Government. This new registration system is called ESTA (Electronic System for Travel Authorization). You can fill the form out on the Internet and approvals take seconds. Once completed, you will be able to travel to the U.S.

The program is designed to give U.S. law enforcement more time to screen for potential terrorists. Unfortunately, this means it takes more time for non-U.S. residents to enter the U.S. (and more hassles).

If you are thinking about a destination wedding in the U.S., you should be aware of this additional step you will need to go through. And if you are a destination wedding vendor in the U.S., you should consider mentioning this to your foreign clients so they aren’t caught by surprise.

Breaking the Silence

2009-01-10T22:54:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! 2008 ended very quietly for us. We received dozens of messages from readers wondering what happened. The truth is, we spent much of the fall traveling, including trips across the U.S. (Texas, Illinois and Florida) and also overseas (including Spain, Gibraltar and Morocco).

With all the traveling, it didn’t give us much of an opportunity to blog. Sorry about that!

We’re back. Hopefully we’ll get back on our weekly blog schedule soon. Thanks for your patience!

Paying For Your Wedding (Recession Blues)

2008-10-15T15:47:00.000-05:00

We were recently contacted by Tammy in Bristol, TN about saving for a wedding. Given the state of the economy, she is questioning if she should delay her destination wedding until the economy improves.

This is a really personal decision and we don’t feel comfortable telling people what to do. However, we will offer some really broad advice.

First, you could think of a thousand reasons to delay your wedding – finances, family drama, apathy to planning (the engagement bliss period), etc. If you are unemployed and are in financial difficulties, you might consider it. On the other hand, you could always find a reason to delay.

Second, allow us our Suze Orman moment. It’s really not worth beginning your new life together with a lot of debt. If you are fortunate enough to have parents who will pay for your wedding, congratulations! If not, you’re like most couples these days and are paying for it yourselves. If you are in the latter boat, you should try to save the money and pay for it completely – and not go into debt.

Finally, the wedding is a special day, but is only one day. Would you rather spend an extra $5,000 on the wedding, or would you rather take another vacation?

Get married, but be wise about it financially.

Dance Lessons

2008-09-29T20:39:00.004-05:00

It’s your wedding and you want to put your best foot forward. It will be more fun for you and your guests if you feel really comfortable on the dance floor.

We are not big dancers, so we did not do dance lessons prior to our wedding. While we danced a little at our wedding, I think we would have danced more had we felt more comfortable.

As our friends have gone through the wedding process, many of them have opted for lessons. There is a proliferation of dance studios like the Fred Astaire Dance Studio and independent studios that can provide dance instruction at relatively reasonable rates. Make sure you tell your instructor about your destination wedding plans so you can receive instruction in local dances.

Dance lessons are one more thing for you to consider in your wedding planning process.

Our Destination Wedding Ceremony

2008-09-14T12:04:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago, we were at a wedding for one of our co-workers. The Catholic ceremony was almost two hours in length and typifies everything we despise about big church weddings.

Coincidentally, we were cleaning some files off the computer and found our wedding ceremony. At about 20 minutes, it was short and sweet! (and left plenty of time for partying with our guests).

Here is the ceremony:

Opening
Friends, we have been invited here today to share with [bride] and [groom] a very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together.

This celebration is but an outward sign of an inward union of the heart. [Bride] and [groom], it is this day you take a giant step of courage and commitment to love, understand and grow. You are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in all the world whom you love the most. You are adding to your life the affection of each other, companionship and a deep trust as well. You are agreeing to share strengths, responsibilities and love. You are agreeing to take your journeys together as husband and wife.

Giving in Marriage
Who gives this woman to wed this man? Bride’s grandmother - "Her family and I."

Reading
I Corinthians 13: 1-13

Reading
Pablo Neruda- Sonnet XVII

Vows/ Exchange of Rings
You will now re-dedicate your desire to be united in marriage by joining right hands.

[Groom], do you take [bride] to be your wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to live together in marriage, forsaking all others so long as you both shall live? [Groom] - "I do." [Bride], do you take [groom] to be your husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to live together in marriage, forsaking all others so long as you both shall live? [Bride] - "I do."

May I have the rings please? The wedding ring is an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love.

[Groom] place the ring on [bride’s] finger and repeat after me " I, [groom], take you [bride], to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honor you. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. What may come I will always be there. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep. With this ring I thee wed."

[Bride] place the ring on [groom’s] finger and repeat after me " I, [bride], take you [groom], to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honor you. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. What may come I will always be there. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep. With this ring I thee wed."

Signing of Marriage Register
By Bride, Groom and 2 witnesses.

Pronouncement of Husband and Wife
And now that you have stood before me and exchanged these rings and these vows, and have agreed to be married according to the laws of The Commonwealth of The Bahamas. With the authority invested in me as a Marriage Officer of these Islands, it gives me great pleasure to pronounce that you are husband and wife.

Destination Wedding Decoration Ideas

2008-09-07T11:32:00.003-05:00

One of the most enjoyable aspects of planning your destination wedding is planning all the fun, festive theme items that accompany it. Your options are compounded exponentially if you are doing a beach wedding or a wedding in the tropics.

From cake toppers to table decorations there are so many options to choose from. This is really an area where you can let your creativity take over and let your personality show through. It’s also a place where you completely break your budget by going over the top.

I wish we would have found this short YouTube video when we planned our destination wedding. I literally spent months going through bios on The Knot and pulling together some of the best ideas – many of which are reflected in this video.

While this was developed by a vendor (The Wedding Bella), our recommendation is always to shop around for the best deal and do it yourself if possible. The end of summer (i.e., RIGHT NOW) is when many stores put these kind of “summer items” on sale. So if your wedding is this fall or even in 2009, you might consider buying things now cheap and holding onto them. If you do decide to go with Wedding Bella, just take note that they are based in Canada (and prices are in Canadian dollars and shipping is higher than you might expect within the U.S.).

[Note: The audio has this grotesque repeating seagull, so consider watching this video with the volume muted.]

Economics Favor U.S. Destination Weddings

2008-09-01T20:43:00.001-05:00

It’s no secret that the U.S. has been leading the global economy into a worldwide slowdown (or recession). As such, the U.S. dollar is at near lows against other major world currencies. So how does this impact destination weddings?

The first impact is that it is much more expensive for U.S. couples to have destination weddings overseas, or at least in countries where the currencies are not pegged to the U.S. dollar (like the Bahamas, etc.). If money is a consideration for couples, they should think about having their destination wedding here in the U.S.

But the good news (at least for wedding vendors) is that this makes the services of wedding providers in the U.S. much cheaper for those in other countries. We were returning from Europe at the end of June and there were several women on the plane coming to the U.S. to buy wedding dresses. European couples can also stay in the U.S. and have a very economic destination wedding.

Your wedding is one of the most important days in your life. However, financial considerations do impact your wedding decisions, so plan carefully.

Crate & Barrel Hosts Wedding Party

2008-08-26T21:32:00.003-05:00

Crate & Barrel is hosting two wedding parties in September for brides- and grooms-to-be to learn about registering with Crate & Barrel. They are plying brides and grooms with food, drink and entertainment.

The wedding party is being held on September 7 and 21, from 9:00-11:00am. The event is not held at every Crate & Barrel, but maybe there is a location near you. Found out more on the Crate & Barrel website.

Review: Our Lucaya in The Bahamas

2008-08-24T19:17:00.004-05:00

In previous postings (see Our Destination Wedding), we discussed the specifics our destination wedding experience, but never really reviewed the venue – the Westin/Sheraton Our Lucaya resort on Grand Bahama Island.

Our destination wedding decision was driven by several factors. We knew we wanted a tropical island. We knew we wanted a place that had fantastic scuba diving. And we knew it needed to be economical for our guests. It took us months of going through various venues in The Bahamas, Mexico, Cayman Islands and Aruba. After much discussion, we settled on Our Lucaya Resort in The Bahamas. (See Making Our Ultimate Destination Wedding Decision)

Early on, we contacted the Our Lucaya Resort directly and found out they had wedding planners onsite called Seashells Weddings Our Lucaya [Note: The company appears to no longer be in business or affiliated with Our Lucaya Resort…which means our information is very dated. So take our comments as a historical perspective.] Unfortunately, we found the folks at Our Lucaya/Seashells to be terribly unresponsive. By coincidence, we found that there was an independent wedding planner through someone on The Knot message boards. We reached out to Janet at And The Two Become One, an independent wedding planner on Grand Bahama Island. Good thing we did, she was fantastic. Because of this experience, we’re big fans of hiring local wedding planners to help you in the process (see Covering The Basics – Hiring a Local Wedding Planner).

Despite this rather rocky beginning, we absolutely LOVED the Our Lucaya resort. We stayed on the Westin side because it was a little nicer. A few guests stayed at the Westin, but most of our guests stayed at the Sheraton. No matter where you stay, you’ll have the run of the property…and the quaint little Lucaya village across the street (which is more like a golf cart crossing that an “street”). There are about 5 or 6 restaurants on-property (which can be expensive) and quite a few across the street, which are more reasonable.

Recently, we found a video on YouTube from the Our Lucaya Resort. Believe it or not, we actually think this video does a pretty bad job selling the property. The resort is extremely beautiful and has many, many wonderful wedding sites, including the gazebos, the Great Lawn and the beach. The inside locations are nice, but if you’re in The Bahamas, don’t you want to get married outside?

Again, while we found the Sheshells wedding contractors at Our Lucaya to be unresponsive, it seems like things have changed at the resort.

Here’s a little more on the Our Lucaya Resort on Grand Bahama Island where we got married:

Sandals Honeymoon Contest

2008-08-19T20:13:00.001-05:00

We don’t often post or promote specific vendors, but we occasionally make exceptions where there is a clear benefit to our readers.

Sandals Resorts is offering some lucky couple the chance to win a Dream Honeymoom. Good luck with the contest!

Not All Destinations Are Equal

2008-08-17T17:45:00.002-05:00

In our recent article Domestic Destination Weddings, we responded to a comment from destination wedding photographer Mary Basnight that our coverage has been almost exclusively focused on destination weddings outside the United States. She’s right.

Over the last two weeks, we’ve been doing some research on destination weddings in the U.S. and really thinking about this. Unfortunately, our research isn’t as clear cut as we hoped it would be. And as we mentioned in What is a Destination Wedding?, we have a very clear definition on it takes to be a destination wedding: the location and venue itself need to be an integral part of the wedding experience.

We have found some locations in the U.S. that qualify. But we’ve also found a significant number of places passing themselves off as “destination wedding venues” that really aren’t (at least in our book).

As an example of what we are talking about, we would like to discuss Foothills Wedding Chapel in Golden, Colorado. Foothills Wedding Chapel promotes itself as a destination wedding venue. With all respect to this establishment, it really isn’t. One wedding chapel is like another, be it in Golden, Las Vegas or Gatlinburg. To be sure, Foothills Wedding Chapel is probably far nicer than anything Gatlinburg has ever seen, but it doesn’t qualify as a destination wedding venue for us.

To be a destination wedding venue, the venue itself has to be a part of the allure. Golden, Colorado is at the foothills of the mountains, is home to Coors Brewery and the Colorado School of Mines, and has a truly charming main street with numerous excellent restaurants. The town is nestled beautifully at the foot of the Rocky Mountains and sits in a valley created by North and South Table Mountains. Beyond this, the town is unremarkable. We should know, my husband was born and raised there.

Our goal in writing this is not to downgrade Foothills Wedding Chapel in Golden. It seems to be a truly fine establishment and if this is the kind of wedding you want, I’m sure it would be nice. But it really is not a destination wedding venue in our book. It is an elopement venue. The venue of the chapel in downtown Golden is not the destination and can be recreated elsewhere. It’s proximity to the mountains would make it an attractive choice for couples looking to elope, but you wouldn’t necessarily feel the town of Golden is essential to the wedding ambiance in the way that other venues might be.

In thinking about our own wedding, had we wanted to do a very economical elopement from our east coast home, Foothills Wedding Chapel would have made an excellent choice (my husband still knows a few folks in the area and Colorado is lovely). But we wanted a true destination wedding experience – a beautiful place where we could gather with our friends and family from all over the world. We wanted an experience that would be another church wedding someplace, we wanted an event that friends and family members will talk about for years to come. That is the essence of a destination wedding.

We use the Foothills Wedding Chapel as an example, but there are thousands of places like it across the U.S. They offer “destination wedding” services, but the location and the facility don’t offer a true “destination.”

This is the difference between “weddings away” or eloping and a TRUE destination wedding. One is not necessarily better than the other, but couples need to truly understand what they are getting – a wedding away or a destination experience.

What is a Destination Wedding?

2008-08-10T16:21:00.002-05:00

When we began this blog, we thought we know. After all, we had a destination wedding.

Destination weddings are getting married “away.” Right? But the more we’ve been writing about it over the last year and half, the more it isn’t that clear cut.

For us, a true destination wedding is a wedding in which the destination itself becomes an integral part of the wedding experience. The destination itself ties into the overall theme of the wedding. And the experience of the wedding could not be repeated in a different location.

For example, a couple getting married in Jamaica with a reggae themed cocktail reception couldn’t have that same wedding in Mexico and have it make sense. Having a “Top of the Town” wedding in New York City couldn’t be repeated in Dallas and make sense. The destination is critical to the overall aesthetic of the wedding experience.

For us destination weddings differ from eloping because the venue itself is important. When eloping, the venue becomes secondary (or is not important at all). Historically, eloping meant getting married in secret. We don’t subscribe to that definition. For us eloping is just getting “someplace else,” but the someplace doesn’t really matter. It could be Las Vegas or some other city because it is convenient. It could be a neighboring town.

Is this just semantics or does it really matter? A bit of both.

The reason why we are clarifying this now is because we have several articles coming up in the next few weeks that depend on the clarity of this definition.

More on destination weddings to come…

Second Marriages and Destination Weddings

2008-07-31T21:44:00.001-05:00

It’s a sad fact that over half of first marriages end in divorce. But people don’t have to give up on love and many get remarried. And this has given rise to a boom in second marriage destination weddings.

Destination weddings are uniquely suited for second marriages. If you had a big church wedding for your first marriage (also known as “starter marriages”), you may be reluctant to have another. It can be awkward to invite people who attended the first wedding, and many people feel uncomfortable because of the “wedding gift” factor. Basically, having someone buy a gift for the first wedding and then getting a gift at the second one makes many brides (and grooms) uncomfortable.

Destination weddings offer a balance between the larger ceremony a couple may want with the elopement they feel they have to have.

In our quest to find destination wedding stories from real couples, we found a YouTube video that we’d like to share. This couple is sharing their story of a second marriage destination wedding.

Here’s the YouTube video:

Domestic Destination Weddings

2008-07-27T19:55:00.002-05:00

Destination weddings can take place anywhere! That’s one of the best things about them. But for us, a destination wedding means more than getting married “someplace else.” It means that the destination becomes an important and integral part of the wedding festivities.

North Carolina-based wedding photographer Mary Basnight contacted us and pointed out an oversight on our part – all of our coverage has been about destination weddings in locations outside the U.S. She’s right and this has been a significant oversight on our part, which we will attempt to rectify.

Destination weddings can take place anywhere. From Catalina Island in California to the Hamptons of Long Island. From the sin city of Las Vegas to Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

Our blogging about destination weddings in the U.S. has been minimal (one post about South Padre Island, Texas). We’ve had the incorrect attitude U.S. weddings are really “Deportation Weddings,” not Destination Weddings. I guess we’ve viewed them as shotgun affairs that need to happen FAST (usually because somebody needs to leave the country in a hurry). This isn’t the aesthetic we choose to subscribe to. However, Mary Basnight is correct, there can be wonderful destination weddings within the U.S. and we haven’t given them fair treatment.

We’ll attempt to rectify this glaring omission in our blog coverage soon.

Our Story

2008-07-21T19:54:00.001-05:00

We’ve had a number of e-mails lately asking about our inspiration and motivation for doing this blog. This blog is really for you – the future brides and grooms who are interested in destination weddings.

Several years ago, we were planning our own destination wedding and were disappointed in the resources that were out there. We spent hundreds of hours trolling The Knot message board and other websites trying to get ideas. We wished we had a coach or mentor to walk us through the process. With that in mind, we started the Ultimate Destination Weddings blog to be your coach.

It started simply. We were the first in our social circle to get married. We found ourselves spending a lot of time going through our thought process with friends or answering their questions. This blog became a way to disseminate information to them in an easy-to-use format. Somewhere along the way, it caught on and we now get a few hundred visitors a day. We don't try to be all things to all people. We just try to offer good, solid, unbiased advice on planning destination weddings.

We are definitely NOT wedding coordinators. It's funny, last week, a woman named Stacey in Maine wrote and wanted to hire us to plan her destination wedding in Jamaica. We are flattered, but we have jobs and this is a just a hobby for us.

We aren’t paid to do this. And we rarely recommend specific vendors and don't keep preferred vendor lists (we've thought about it, but don't think it's for us). If we recommend someone and it goes bad for a couple, we lose our credibility. We only recommend people we really have faith in. We don’t shill for anyone and aren’t paid to do this. We do Ultimate Destination Weddings because we love it.

We hope you enjoy the blog and find it useful in planning your wedding.

Destination Weddings on a Budget

2008-07-13T19:22:00.001-05:00

Destination Weddings are now mainstream. Just as there has been an escalation in cost and extravagance for traditional weddings, we’re starting to see the same thing in destination weddings (driven particularly by celebrities and the wannabes).

Many couples, including us, were drawn to destination weddings because we wanted something less pretentious than a traditional wedding. We found destination weddings to be good value for the money. And they still can be.

We found this YouTube video from CBS’ Early Show on Destination Weddings on a Budget and thought it would be good viewing for our readers. In it, Julie Chen (the host) interviews Antonia van der Meer, editor of Modern Bridge magazine.

As a summary, Antonia van der Meer and Modern Bride profile three different locations that they think are still good values: Italy, Mexico and The Bahamas. We would certainly agree with the last two (probably why we got married in the Bahamas), but can’t fathom how anyone would think Italy is a good value right now. Don’t get us wrong, we LOVE Italy, but the exchange rate is absolutely punitive right now (and we travel to Europe frequently).

Now that we’ve imparted our advice, here is Antonia van der Meer and Modern Bride magazine on destination weddings:

Wedding Seasonality

2008-07-08T20:18:00.007-05:00

We wanted to talk for minute about wedding planning. And we want to emphasize planning. PLANNING. And we mean it.

Depending on the nature of your destination (a beach wedding, a wedding at an Italian villa in the fall, etc.) there will be certain items that are only available seasonally. Ever tried to find a bathing suit in November for your destination wedding in February? How about flip flops?

It can be incredibly difficult to find some items you might need/want for your destination wedding if it is out of season. These items can include:

Bathing suits
Groom’s suit (or apparel)
Shoes and sandals
Sunscreen
Sunglasses
Beach bags for out of town bags
Beach towels
Sea shells or other table decorations

As the summer wears on, stores will be having sales on merchandise. If you have a destination wedding this fall, winter or even next summer, you might consider stocking up on things you might need/want for your destination wedding.

Step back and really plan out your wedding. Think about everything you will need. You can save money and ensure you have access to things you might want by buying at the end of the season. But don’t wait too long or you might be out of luck.

Weddings in Paris

2008-06-29T11:09:00.006-05:00

We spent our second anniversary in Paris (See The Anniversary Trip). It gave us an opportunity to scope out weddings in Paris.

We couldn’t imagine going to Europe and getting married in a stodgy old church (although there are tons of cool churches in Paris). What Paris has to offer is some of the most romantic spots in the whole world.

If you consider a destination wedding in Paris, you might think about a wedding cruise on the Seine. We don’t know if you could do the actual wedding on the boat (although we bet it is possible; more on that below), but you can certainly do a nice reception. You and a handful of guests can take a Seine river cruise and, after you exchange your vows, party the night away. There are several cruise vendors, so check into them carefully. You want to find a small boat that you can rent out (so its private). Check with Bateaux-Mouches or the nice company that operates from the Pont Neuf bridge. There also seem to be several other luxury providers that you might want to check into. A local wedding coordinator may prove valuable, unless you speak French.

As part of your romantic Paris wedding, you might want to take your own wedding photographer with you. Paris offers stunning vistas and charming little lanes to take photos. We thought the Eiffel Tower, Sacre Coeur, The Trocadero and The Louvre would all make nice backdrops. After a day of photos, you could have your rehearsal dinner at a restaurant in Le Marais.

Not to be a total downer, there is a residency requirement for getting married in France. It's either 40 or 60 days (there is conflicting information on the internet). SO...it means you need to be in country for a while. This may or may not be a problem for you. If it is a problem, consider getting legally married in the U.S. (rather easy to do) and then do your ceremony abroad for you and your family. We think this kind of defeats the purpose of a destination wedding, but know other couples who do it to get around ridiculous regulations in countries like France or Mexico. While this takes the romance out of Paris and France as a destination wedding location, depending on your personal tastes, it may still work for you.

Paris could be a wonderfully romantic wedding destination to begin your new life together. And since you are already in Europe, you might consider honeymooning there as well.

The Anniversary Trip

2008-06-22T21:43:00.002-05:00

Greetings from Paris!

When we had our destination wedding, we immediately decided that we would take a trip for our anniversary. So this year’s trip is Paris, France.

If you are considering a destination wedding, you obviously love to travel. You should also consider taking an anniversary trip. It was been a wonderful tradition for us.

We’ll write more when we return!

Selecting Your Destination Wedding Photographer

2008-06-08T16:47:00.003-05:00

Selecting your destination wedding photographer is one of the most important decisions you can make. There’s no “do overs” on your wedding photos. And, unlike catering, there’s less margin for error. So, you really only have one shot of getting it right.

Adding to the complexity, chances are very good that you won’t find the resident talent that you are looking for in the wedding destination of your choice. We’ve blogged on this before in Covering The Basics – Photographer, but you should count on hiring and bringing your own photographer with you.

Today on WeddingBee, Joe Milton of the International Society of Professional Wedding Photographers has an interesting posting on Top Five Questions to Ask Your Photographer. Now, one thing we’ve learned is that there are more “wedding photography associations” than you can shake a stick at. Some reputable, some not – so do your homework.

But Joe Milton poses some very good questions (these are his questions, but our commentary):

Can I read through the contract? – If not, run far and fast. The contract should be clear and articulate what is expected of both parties…including deadlines! Photographers are notorious for getting you to sign the contract and then take FOREVER to deliver the goods.

Can I see some sample albums of complete weddings? If not, run far and fast. Every photographer can get a good picture or two, but you want to see the whole process. Any good photographer should be able to show you lots of quality work.

How much experience do you have? The more weddings they’ve done, but the better they will probably be. This is crucial in destination weddings as many “native” photographers are just Sunday afternoon amateurs. You want a pro.

How much direction or posing do you do during the day? Some photographers are photojournalist only. Some only do posed shots. For us, we liked the mix. Of our favorites, they were “posed.” Or rather, our photographer gave direction (walk up this staircase, walk down the beach this way) and then she captured the moment. Those were our favorites. But some of the most meaningful “moments” were the candids (the bride’s grandmother walking her down the aisle because she is now paralyzed).

Do you have insurance? Any decent photographer will, so this is not the definitive question that many might think.

This is a good list. But after reading it, the questions seem very elementary. They will only help you rule “bad apples” and will do nothing to help you select from a small pool of 3-5 truly professional photographers. To this rather basic list, we have added our own list of “must ask” questions:

Can I speak with a couple who’s wedding you have shot in the last six months? – If a photographer is unable or unwilling to provide a list of references for you to check out, this is a problem. It also surprised us that this should be “in the bag” for the photographer. Yet, we had photographers provide us with references that were negative, so it’s worth going through the process.

How much experience do you have with the location/venue/type that I having? - No wedding photographer will have done exactly what you are doing, but have they done something similar? If they haven’t done a Jewish ceremony or a beach wedding, it might be a problem for you.

What is your typical method? – In our professional capacity, we both hire a lot of vendors. We are a big fan of asking very broad, open-ended questions like this. It gets the photographer talking about his/her work broadly. The good ones should be able to string together a story that makes sense. Those new to the business or who are “weekend warriors” will stumble on this kind of broad, open-ended question.

Do you bring an assistant? – This is useful to know. Will they be doing all the work themselves, or farming it out? If bringing an assistant, try to get a clear picture on what that person’s role may be. And remember, this will also increase your cost factors.

How many different cameras do you bring? – In other words, will they be switching back and forth and might miss the moment. Or, will they have back-up with them in case something goes wrong? It’s important.

Film vs digital? – In this age of digital everything, there are some photographers that sill do film (believe it or not). So ask.

How long before we see proofs? – This is self explanatory.

How long before we get our actual album? – Also self explanatory.

Who covers your expenses? – This is a point of negotiation. Ideally, it’s better for both you and photographer if you cover the expenses. It’s better for the photographer because they are not out of pocket on anything. It’s better for you because the photographer will probably charge a mark-up fee (some percentage of the actual cost; so a $700 airline ticket to the Bahamas marked up 15% will actually cost you $805).

What is your mark-up fee (both for out of pocket travel and also for stock/equipment)? – The photographer should be absolutely honest about this up front. In our experience, too many photographers use this as a “back end” profit center and you have no idea how bad you will get hit until the final bill arrives.

Finally, it’s not a question, but it’s worth stating: actually meet with your photographer once or twice before the wedding. It sounds obvious, but many couples have been known to hire a photographer sight unseen because they found them on some website and their work looked good. This is especially common where destination wedding photographers can live all over the country and fly into the wedding. Try to find a way to meet first and take a temperature check.

Photo credit: Julia Newman

Holiday Weddings

2008-05-27T21:13:00.002-05:00

Given the recent Memorial Day holiday, we thought we’d post about having weddings, including destination weddings, on holidays. It’s been a growing trend in recent and we’ve found ourselves invited to a number of them.

In general, having a destination wedding tied to a holiday is good for you and your guests because it means less time off of work for the wedding. And if your guests are making the trip to your destination wedding as a mini-vacation, this can work out well.

On the bad side, prices are typically higher at destination resorts during holiday periods, so you’ll pay – and it could be a LOT more. So you’ll need to carefully weigh the benefits vs. the costs.

But when considering holiday weddings, it doesn’t just mean U.S. holidays. If you are considering a wedding in Italy on June 1st, you’ll have to contend with Republic Day (and a nation-wide work stoppage). When planning your destination wedding and you are narrowing down the days, you should look carefully at a calendar to ensure that it is not a local holiday.

Destination Wedding Photography

2008-05-18T20:51:00.002-05:00

One of the most important decisions you’ll face is photography. We’ve already covered this in previous posts, but want to revisit the topic.

First, we found a YouTube video (below) by destination wedding photographer Neil Cowley of Rochester, New York that should be mandatory viewing before you hire a destination wedding photographer.

Assuming you can’t find the talent you want locally (a pretty good bet), you’ll be bringing your own photographer. Let’s face it, it’s your wedding and you only get one shot at the photography. You’ll probably hire someone you feel comfortable with and bring them with you.

Neil Cowley’s video is from one destination wedding photography talking to another. But as a couple, there’s quite a bit for you to learn here.

There are really two kinds of destination wedding photographers:

Someone who is a wedding photographer, but loves to do destination weddings because it’s a mini-vacation for them (at your expense) and they tack on time before or after for their vacation.
Someone who is a seriously destination wedding photographer and it’s all about the business.

We prefer the former, but understand the need for the latter.

Regardless of which one, this is a business for them. Some photographers prefer to make their own travel arrangements and will charge you a mark-up (Neil Cowley charges 30%). That adds up fast. But…it is a business for them some kind of mark-up is reasonable. Unfortunately, some photographers use the mark-up principle to pad their profits.

We would recommend to couples that they work with the photographer to find a good travel schedule, but then the couple books it and pays for it directly. We’re not opposed to wedding photographers making a decent living…but there is too great an opportunity for some wedding photographers to abuse the mark-up principle as a way of screwing couples.

The other major issue in Neil Cowley’s YouTube video is the issue of documentation. He prefers to go undocumented. However, we had a friend who had a problem with this and couldn’t get her photographer into the country. The work permits aren’t all that expensive (certainly less than the mark-up on the travel) and your local wedding coordinator can often handle it for you. It is customary for the couple to pay for the work permit for the photographer. So, why risk your photographer being locked out of the country and you have to scramble for a “plan b” locally? Just get the permit.

Here’s Neil Cowley’s YouTube video:

Note: There’s also a video Part II, but it’s just him showing his cameras and you don’t really learn anything.

Suggested readings:
Covering the basics – Photographer

News Flash: Target Dollar Spot

2008-04-28T12:54:00.001-05:00

News Flash: Target has all new inventory in the Dollar Spot! There are lots of new great new items including flip flops, lip balm, water bottles and other great stuff!

Longtime readers of this blog know that we love Target’s Dollar Spot as a cheap place to load up on great stuff for your out of town bags. (See Out of Town Bags)

Reality Check – Too Much of a Good Thing?

2008-04-21T08:23:00.001-05:00

You are engaged and want to share you joy with everyone. You’ve decided on fabulous destination wedding in some tropical, beach location or some other exotic spot.

And you’re thinking it would be a good idea to infuse the theme into [fill in the blank here.] It could your birthday, your holiday plans or just about anything.

There is too much of a good thing. Having a beach themed bridal shower/bachelorette party may intrigue you, but resist the urge. You are thrilled about your European wedding, but resist the urge for an Italian themed Thanksgiving. You CAN go over the top in theming.

This hit home for us recently when a friend invited us to a party. The party was, you guessed it, beach themed. The bride-to-be was so thrilled with her upcoming destination wedding in Jamaica that she decked out the party with reggae, Bob Marley, jerk chicken and about every other Jamaican cliché. It was a party, not her wedding.

The same can also be true at your actual destination wedding. Just because you’re in an Italian villa doesn’t mean everyone needs to act like extras in The Godfather. Just because your nuptials are on some tropical island, doesn’t mean that you need to decorate EVERYTHING in seashells.

Your friends and family are excited for you. And they want to be a part of your special day. Just keep your excitement in check.

A Simple Destination Wedding

2008-04-14T07:41:00.000-05:00

Until recently, we thought that everyone had the same idea when it comes to a destination wedding. A small group (i.e., less than 50) of friends and family join you for your special day and then you celebrate afterwards.

However, we found a YouTube video (below) for simple destination weddings (hat tip to LaQuinta South Padre Island, Texas). Slowly, it dawned on us that there is a market out there for very, very, very simple destination weddings. OK, we’re a bit appalled that the minister didn’t really have the bride and groom’s names nailed and seemed to stumble through the ceremony, but maybe that’s what this couple wanted.

In our book, this qualifies more as an elopement than a true destination wedding. However, we post it here because as we researched our own destination wedding, many resorts sold this kind of a wedding as a “destination wedding.”

Frankly, some were even worse…offering only a tape recorded ceremony that is played back with the appropriate pauses for the bride and groom to announce their names, etc. We find these kind of Vegas-esque “ceremonies” to be ghastly and appalling. And yet there is a market out there for them.

So... the whole point of this posting is to be sure you really investigate that you are getting the kind of destination wedding you want. Don’t assume that the terminology means the same thing to everyone. Ask probing questions. And, if at all possible, try to do a visit of your destination in advance and observe someone else’s wedding.

This simple destination wedding could be what you are getting:

The Essence of Destination Weddings

2008-04-07T08:19:00.001-05:00

I found this little gem of a video on YouTube. It was made by two young women in the Philippines for a school project. It’s kind of long at 8 minutes, but the first 2 minutes are well worth viewing…

Essentially, these young women capture the essence of a destination wedding. Do you want to get married in a stodgy church? Or do you want to do something fun?

View the YouTube video:

Wedding Music Playlists, Part III

2008-03-24T14:35:00.003-05:00

For our destination wedding, we took our iPods and portable speakers and played after the reception dinner (for background see To DJ or Not to DJ).

Here is the playlist for our wedding iPod (in random order):

Reunion – Indigo Girls
Beautiful Day – U2
Take A Chance on Me – ABBA
If I Had a $1000000 – Barenaked Ladies
Stuck in a Moment (acoustic version) – U2
Long Time Gone – Dixie Chicks
Walk On (live version) – U2
Listen to Your Heart – Roxette
Friday I’m in Love – The Cure
Kokomo – The Beach Boys
Become You – Indigo Girls
Yellow – Coldplay
When The Stars Go Blue – The Corrs
Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Green Day
I Believe in Love – Dixie Chicks
City of Blinding Lights – U2
Anna Begins – Counting Crows
Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters (live version) – Indigo Girls
Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations
Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad – Def Leppard
The Boy with the Arab Strap – Belle & Sebastian
Take On Me – a-ha
Cherish – Madonna
A Sort of Homecoming – U2
Water is Wide – Indigo Girls/Jewel
All You Need is Love – The Beatles

Also see Wedding Music Playlists, Part I and Wedding Music Playlists, Part II.

Wedding Music Playlists, Part II

2008-03-17T07:31:00.002-05:00

Sullivan Street – Counting Crows
Big Yellow Taxi – Counting Crows
With Or Without You – U2
Nashville – Indigo Girls
Calling All Angels – Train
She’s Got a Way – Billy Joel
100 Years – Five for Fighting
The Reason – Hoobastank
Bad – U2
She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5
Come Away With Me – Norah Jones
Stay (I Missed You) – Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories
Smooth – Santana & Rob Thomas
Favorite Adventure – K’s Choice
Jack & Diane – John Mellencamp
Miss You In A Heartbeat – Def Leppard
Tainted Love – Soft Cell
Let It Be – The Beatles
Drift Away – Uncle Kracker
When You Say Nothing at All – Ronan Keating
In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
American Pie – Don McLean
Wild World – Cat Stevens
Dancing Queen – ABBA
U Make Me Feel Loved – Zucchero
The Boys of Summer – Don Henley
We Belong – Pat Benatar
I Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Hold Me Now – The Thompson Twins
Here Comes The Sun – The Beatles

Also see Wedding Music Playlists, Part I

Wedding Music Playlists, Part I

2008-03-13T21:55:00.002-05:00

All I Want is You – U2
Montpelier – Girlyman
Somewhere Over the Raindow – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
Rain King – Counting Crows
Paino Man – Billy Joel
Only New York Going On – Francis Dunnery
One – U2
Someday – Nickelback
Crazy For You – Madonna
Clare Island – Saw Doctors
Sweetest Thing – U2
Let Me Go Easy – Indigo Girls
When She’s Around Me – James Taylor
Bitter Root – Indigo Girls
Give A Little Bit – The Goo Goo Dolls
Gone Again – Indigo Girls
Meet Virginia – Train
If You Could Only See – Tonic
Fireflies – Lori McKenna
Share The Darkness – Saw Doctors
Come To My Window – Melissa Etheridge
The One I Love – REM
Point Hope – Indigo Girls
Come on Eileen – Dexy’s Midnight Runner
Margaritaville – Jimmy Buffett
Life Is a Highway – Tom Cochrane
Amaze Me – Girlyman
You’re Beautiful – James Blunt
Postcards from Mexico – Girlyman
My Girl – The Temptations

Specialist Travel Agents

2008-02-28T00:50:00.002-05:00

The video killed the radio star. And the Internet killed the travel agent. Or so, that’s what we thought.

Like most people, several years ago we gave up on the travel agent, the paper tickets, the hassle of telephone tag and the fees travel agents charge. Like most people, we moved exclusively to web-based services. And for a while, it worked real well for us. More specifically, it worked well for very simple travel plans.

Looking back on our wedding planning experience, our single biggest time investment was researching locations and travel logistics. Looking back, we should have brought in professional travel agent who deals in destination weddings to help simplify the process. We knew we wanted the Caribbean, but it had to have reasonable flights from New York, Philadelphia, Dallas and Denver (where most of our guests were coming from). A professional travel agent could have narrowed down the field considerably and then we could decide on the location from there.

Another challenge we had was all of the guests making their own travel arrangements. The bridge’s grandmother used her favorite travel agent – and despite the very specific wording on the invitation – the agent ended up sending her to Nassau, Bahamas instead of the correct location on Grand Bahama Island.

Our concern with utilizing a travel agent is that they push the venues and packages where they make commissions or where they are most comfortable…not necessarily what is in your best interest. So, it’s critical to find a vendor you feel comfortable with.

So, we were pleasantly surprised when we discovered the Caribbean Journey Destination Wedding Blog. The woman, Laura Sangster, is a travel agent, but also planned her own Caribbean destination wedding. While, we have not actually used her to plan either our own destination wedding or any travel (so therefore cannot actually recommend her), we’ve been impressed with her thoroughness, aesthetic, and quality information. We are trying to get a scuba dive trip together for later in the year and may use her, so we’ll let you know how it goes.

When you are just starting the process, the idea of planning your own destination wedding can sound like a lot of fun – dreaming of all those fancy resorts and beautiful beaches. We thought so too, but the stress it caused between us was considerable. In retrospect, having someone help us and make the process much more manageable would have been a good idea.

Downside to Engagement Rings

2008-02-24T20:07:00.002-05:00

Many single women dream for the day they receive their diamond engagement ring. Yet for many people, there’s a downside to the rings.

First is the cost. Diamonds are precious, but are far from rare. In fact, the price of diamonds is propped up through a legal cartel system where the supply of diamonds is artificially restricted (although the DeBeers cartel recently settled a class action lawsuit related to its price-fixing scheme). The leading force behind this is the DeBeers diamond cartel the world’s largest supplier of diamonds, which has a near monopoly throughout the world.

As we looked into purchasing our engagement ring, we wanted a diamond that did not come from the DeBeers diamond cartel. We didn’t want a “blood diamond”—a diamond that is mind for the purpose of paying for nasty civil wars in Africa.

You can also learn more at Stop Blood Diamonds.

You can also learn more about fair trade diamonds, diamonds that are not tainted through blood and murder.

Getting Your Documents in Order

2008-02-06T22:25:00.000-05:00

After the glow of your honeymoon subsides, you need to settle into your new life together. You’ll likely name each other as beneficiaries on your 401(k)s or Roth IRAs. You might need to go through the process of changing your name (more on this in an upcoming post).

One important thing you will also need to do is get your legal documents in order. You should probably have a will, a living will and a power of attorney. A major health crisis in my family (my grandmother had a massive stroke) really brought this to our attention.

Having spent tons of money on a mediocre attorney in the past, I wasn’t anxious to do so again. After a lot of online research, I found LegalZoom, a cost-effective approach of fill-in-the-blank documents. There are other companies, both online and off-line, that offer this service (some are better than others). This one-size-fits-all approach probably isn’t going to serve you well if you have kids, complex estates, but if you’re relatively young and just starting out (like us), it should work for you.

If anything like what happened to my grandmother ever happens to us, I just wanted to be prepared. We waited almost two years after our wedding to do this, which was way too long. Shortly after your wedding, you should look into getting these legal documents in order.

The Anniversary Trip

2008-02-04T09:15:00.001-05:00

Doing a destination wedding was one of the best decision we’ve ever made. It was exactly our personality.

Couples who choose a destination wedding already have a love of travel (of some kind) and a desire to get away from the bland/ordinary. Why not keep it going and take an anniversary trip every year? That’s exactly what we did.

For our first anniversary, we took a trip to Italy and spent our anniversary in Rome. For next year (second anniversary), we’re looking at Paris. We tend to travel abroad and see next and exotic locations, but your anniversary trip celebration doesn’t need to nearly as elaborate.

This is a wonderful tradition we’re starting and looking forward to many, many years of anniversary trips!

A Wedding Gift

2008-01-31T08:17:00.000-05:00

In this age of couple’s paying for their own weddings, you don’t have a lot of excess money. We had agreed on not buying each other a present for our actual wedding day. One of us lived up to that agreement…

Mr. groom thought a surprise gift would make his bride happy. He brought (and snuck in his luggage) a beautiful pair of black Tahitian pearl earrings from Nordstrom’s for a wedding day surprise.

Doing something nice for each other on your wedding day is important! Even if it is a card, you should do something to start your new lives off on the right foot. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just meaningful.

Marriott Frenchman’s Reef, St. Thomas

2008-01-28T09:05:00.000-05:00

I found an interesting YouTube video that I thought I would share.

The video is essentially a 1 ½ minute infomercial for the Marriott Frenchman’s Reef in St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands. However, the wedding director there, Norma Kennedy, offers a couple of suggestions that are worth your time in watching the short video.

Namely, she counsels:

Get the right person at the hotel
Hotel must have a dedicated area for weddings

She also notes that the trend in destination weddings is being driven by economics. According to Kennedy, and depending on the time of year, couples can have their wedding and honeymoon at the resort for under $2,000.

Early on in the process, Marriott Frenchman’s Reef was one of our leading contenders. However, given where a lot of our guests were coming from (Texas and Colorado), the travel became quite expensive to get to the Virgin Islands.

The full Norma Kennedy video is on YouTube:

Our Policy on Vendor Reviews

2008-01-28T07:59:00.000-05:00

As we start to review more vendors and companies, we thought it would be worthwhile to briefly discuss our policy.

We’re not wedding planners.
We don’t sell destination weddings.
We don’t have a financial interest in whatever you choose to do for your down destination wedding.
We’re just an ordinary couple sharing what we learned planning our destination wedding.
We do accept suggestions on vendors and locations to review from readers of this blog.

If we are ever given something in consideration for a review (i.e., free anything – hotel stay, trip, book…anything), we will disclose that. We don’t say nice things about companies just because they give us free stuff or pay us.

The Atlantis (a video)

2008-01-25T10:11:00.000-05:00

We found this YouTube video on The Atlantis resort. It does a great job of providing an accurate accounting of the resort and showing the pretty scenery. (It’s kind of infomercial for our tastes) Sure sounds appealing, doesn’t it?

It’s from a Canadian outfit called Romantic Planet. To be fair, nowhere in the video do they show a destination wedding at Atlantis in progress (something we had the opportunity to see). We didn’t find much, if anything, about The Atlantis to be romantic with all the young, screaming ultra-entitled children running around. (See previous post Our Honeymoon – The Atlantis) Although, we thought we would post this video here to give you some balance.

At the end of the video, Romantic Planet makes an excellent point – there are many islands in the Bahamas and you can surely find one your speed. For us, we were on our honeymoon and we wanted to enjoy each other (it’s a honeymoon after all). However, if you are the kind of people that need things to do and stuff to buy, go to Atlantis. However, if you can create your own romance by long moonlight walks on the beach, followed by cocktails and then heading back to your suite, you should probably look someplace else.

Engagement Gifts for Men

2008-01-23T10:02:00.000-05:00

As the courtship comes to a close, it ends with a proposal of marriage. As a symbol of his love (and honoring tradition), the man presents a diamond engagement ring (thereby keeping the DeBeers cartel happy).

But what does the husband get? What does the future bride offer her future husband?

In our family (and in many others), shortly after engagement, the woman purchases a nice watch for the husband. These are luxury watches, not a mall special.

For us, we fancied luxury, automatic watches. Watches like Patek, IWC and others are super high-end…and out of our budget. We determined that Raymond Weil (Don Giovanni line) offered the nicest watch at a mid-level price.

The watch is a tradition in our family going back generations. You should decide what you will do for your tradition.

DeBeers Settles Lawsuit

2008-01-20T17:10:00.000-05:00

If you bought diamonds in the United States, you may be entitled to money back.

This covers anyone who purchases a diamond in the U.S. from January 1, 1994 to March 31, 2006. It covers engagement rings, wedding bands, pave watches, earrings…anything with diamonds. The deadline to file a claim to be in the class action lawsuit is May 19, 2008. The final hearing for the case is April 14, 2008, so hopefully payments will be made shortly after that.

For more info, visit the class action lawsuit website.

More Top 10 Destination Wedding Tips

2008-01-16T21:57:00.000-05:00

Destination I Do, one of the destination wedding magazines out there, has a really good article that is a “must read” for anyone planning destination weddings – their Top 20 Do’s and Don’ts of Destination Weddings.

Below is their list of Top 10 Destination Wedding "Dont’s," but the commentary is ours:

Sweat the small stuff – Quoting from Destination I Do, they say, “Things may go wrong with a hometown wedding or a destination wedding. Make sure to keep it all in perspective and enjoy the process every step of the way.”
Wait to the last minute to send your invitations – This is really important. We sent out Save the Dates about 8 or 9 months in advance and then sent out invites out about 3 months in advance.
Assume people know where they are going – OMG. Seriously. This is so true. Laura’s grandmother gave the invite to her travel agent. Instead of getting tickets to Grand Bahama Island, the travel agent booked them into Nausau. Once your guests arrive in the location, they will also need directions (either actual directions or explanations about getting cabs or ground transportation).
Expect too much of others – Quoting again from Destination I Do, “Sure it’s ‘your big day’ but know that your bridesmaids, groomsmen and family members are not your temporary slaves. Sure you can expect them to help out, but keep it realistic, give others duties you know they can handle, yet still allow them the ability to enjoy your event too.”
Let “Aunt Flow” pay you a visit – Proper planning will help you avoid PMS and menstruation during your wedding.
Leave guests hanging – Have some activities for your guests, but don’t dominate their time. (See A Mini-Vacation for your Guests and Our Destination Wedding)
Expect that everyone will come – This is very true. Remember, you are asking a lot of your guests. It’s a major expense and time out of people’s lives. Be understanding if not everyone can make it.
Forget to check the average traffic flow in the area you will be saying “I Do” – Location, Location, Location. It’s really important to try and do a location visit so you can see the layout.
Choose a dress because of what is “IN” – Enough said on this one.
Haul your dress around with you on your honeymoon – This is helpful, but not critical. For us, we did carry the dress on the honeymoon. We live away from our families and guests, so we had nobody to bring it back for us. We carried it with us without incident. (See The Dress)

For the list of Top 10 Destination Wedding "Do" Tips, see Top 10 Destination Wedding Tips.

The full article from Destination I Do is worth the read.

Top 10 Destination Wedding Tips

2008-01-13T21:58:00.000-05:00

Select a destination that is easy to get to – This is key to making life easy for you and your guests. We covered this in Advanced Topics – Airfare Considerations.
Carry on your dress – This is critical. We found the flight attendents to be very accommodating to our requests. (See The Dress)
Create a wedding web site for your guests – For destination weddings, this is extremely helpful for your guests and can also be a lot of fun! (See Customized Wedding Websites and Wedding Websites, Part 2)
Find local favors and gifts for your guests – We not really a fan of “favors” per se because they just seem very cheap. However, we are big fans of themed out of town gift bags. (See Out-of-Town Bags)
Research the marriage requirements before you select your destination – This should probably be your starting point, even before picking a destination or researching travel. (See First things First – Is it legal?)
Hire a professional wedding planner – And hire a professional local wedding planner. If it makes sense, also investigate the possibility of a wedding planner that is not affiliated with the hotel. This assures you get the best advice possible. (See Covering the basics – Hiring a local wedding planner)
Hire a professional photographer and bring them with you – This is something you should consider, but was one of our most hotly debated topics of our entire wedding planning process. Ultimately, we did decide to be bring our own. (See Covering the basics – Photographer)
Take a scouting trip prior to the big day – We’ve covered this in previous postings. It’s an extra expense, but is well worth it!
Call hotels to see if you can negotiate group discounts – Ultimately, this wasn’t very fruitful for us. We had a small destination wedding (22 guests in about 14 rooms).
Create an event that is unique to you and your fiancé – This is the best advice. It’s your wedding. Do what you want.

The next Top 10 tips are coming soon.

The full article from Destination I Do is worth the read.

Bridal Processional Music

2008-01-05T16:58:00.001-05:00

In the past, your choice of processional music was Mendelssohn’s Wedding March and Wagner’s Bridal Chorus.

These days, tastes have changed. You have many more options than you used to. More contemporary music choices include:

Pachelbel’s Canon
Delibes’ Flower Duet
Verdi’s March (from Aida)
Vivaldi Spring (from the Four Seasons)
Handel’s Hornpipe (from the Water Music Suite)
Beethoven’s Ode to Joy
Bach’s Air on the G String

Now, if you have a destination wedding, you may or may not have a procession or music. This is something you need to consider and work trough.

For us, music was very important. We hired a local violinist to play for about a half-hour before the ceremony and about 10 minutes after.

Preview: Cruise Ship Weddings

2007-12-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Nearly all of the major cruise ship lines offer weddings these days. We briefly looked into this for our destination wedding, but had trouble with the logistics (too many family members coming from too many different places) to make it work.

But Ultimate Destination Weddings will be taking a much-deserved multi-week holiday cruise in December! We’re going to be scoping out cruise ship weddings, ports of call and reporting back in early January! Watch for more details.

Bachelorette Parties – Cooking School

2007-12-13T18:40:00.000-05:00

It’s another bachelorette party – dressing up, wearing the mock veil, getting drunk, going bar hopping and feeling bad the next day. But that’s not what you want for your bachelorette party. You want different. You want fun. Sure you want to drink, but don’t want to get out of control. You want the kind of bachelorette party where you can take your mom and your 16-year-old niece. And did we say you want to have fun?

Try this on for size: Cooking School. It’s not some stodgy cooking school, we’re talking fun, wine and fantastic food you’ve cooked yourself. You bring the girlfriends, they provide the chef to teach you and the food to prepare. It’s a blast (and you even get to keep the apron).

We’re in love with the Viking Cooking School. For a bachelorette or bridal party, contact them directly for a Special Events Program.

We’ve done it several times and absolutely love it. We’ve taken the Basic Knife Skills class and the Date Night – Lobster Bisque and Steak. We’re already booked into the Indian Dinner for the spring.

Destination Weddings for Dummies

2007-12-10T09:09:00.000-05:00

I found another video on YouTube (originally from Brideorama). This one features Susan Breslow, author of Destination Weddings for Dummies.

She offers three tips for people planning destination weddings:

Find out the local marriage laws – residency requirements vary by country (for example, France is 40 days)
Prepare for the weather – Breslow says, hope for sun, but be prepared with a backup venue inside
Have a fun party at home – We agree on this front. See our previous entry Advanced Topics – The Welcome Back Reception.

The Susan Breslow video is here:

Tourism Websites

2007-12-07T08:17:00.000-05:00

When it comes to destination weddings, many local tourism or convention & visitor’s bureaus offer good websites that can help you with the planning process (some even special destination weddings sections).

In the Caribbean, nearly every country has a site. Here is a comprehensive list of Caribbean tourism and convention and visitor’s bureau websites:

Wedding Wine Choices

2007-12-05T09:52:00.001-05:00

Wedding wine and cocktail selections are not something you usually have control over. However, cocktail and spirit selections are a reflection of your personality. This is a point that you should try to negotiate with your venue.

For wedding wines, try to find something unusual and memorable (both for you and your guests). Many venues will give you one white and one red. Your will be a chardonnay (maybe a pinot grigio if you're really lucky). Your red will be a merlot or possibly a Cabernet Sauvignon. These wines are the same ones that are served at nearly every event known to man - from boring work receptions to the woman down the street's wedding. Not very fun, creative or inviting. Why not spice things up a bit? Or at least dare to be different!

We’re white wine drinkers, but are on an ABC kick (“anything but chardonnay”). Consider a Riesling (Chateau Ste Michelle from the U.S. or just about any riesling wine from the Mosel-Saar region in Germany) or a Gewurztraminer.

Instead of champagne, find a different sparkling white wine. We’re big fans of Prosecco and Franciacorta from Italy. (see Wedding Toast, Part I).

On the red wine front, why not a nice Côtes du Rhône or Chianti?

Finally, if you’re having a tropical destination wedding, consider doing cocktails instead of wines (your venue will definitely accommodate this, and frankly will love you for it…they make more money). We did this for our wedding and opted for Pina Coladas and Bahama Mamas.

Sandals Honeymoon Test Drive

2007-12-04T09:15:00.001-05:00

A recent comment on our blog by Amanda W. asked about Sandals Weddingmoon and the “Test Drive your honeymoon.” She’s reluctant to sign up and asks if we know anything about the “Test Drive” because it seems like a timeshare sales pitch.

The answer to the question is an honest one – we don’t know. We vaguely remember hearing something about the “test drive” some time ago, but we didn’t do it (although we did consider Sandals). The trips are one day (out in the morning, back in the evening) and are only offered from a limited number of east coast cities. Sandals adds the normal conditions (space is limited space, subject to availability, etc., etc.). Cost for the day trip is $99 and includes airfare.

So Amanda, for $99 and one day off of work, you can have a one-day trip to Jamaica, see the resort and know exactly what you’re getting into. (We did this with the Westin Our Lucaya in the Bahamas, but had to pay the full amount and made a long three-day weekend of it). If you do the test drive and then book a honeymoon, Sandals will apply your $99 to the honeymoon package. Presumably they would do the same thing for a Weddingmoon, but the website doesn’t actually say it (best to call and ask some specific questions. Actually, you should definitely call since there aren't many specifics on the website).

It’s a brilliant piece of marketing for Sandals – give your target audience a sample your resort. The cost of $99 essentially covers the airfare, so the company isn’t out anything except for lunch and a few fruity drinks. Now, if the Sandals resorts really wanted to sell their packages, they would charge couples $200 and let them stay overnight for free. Now that’s a test drive!

Fair disclosure: Despite all of our travels, we’ve never actually been to a Sandals resort (although we’ve been thinking about one of their places in St. Lucia-see picture)…so, we can’t actually recommend them (we can’t dissuade you either). So Amanda W., you’re on your own with Sandals. If you decide to do it, I hope you’ll e-mail us and tell us about your experience.

Destination Weddings in Barbados

2007-12-03T09:51:00.000-05:00

Barbados has got its act together!

One of the most difficult things about planning a destination wedding in another country is getting quality information (including reliable information about license requirements, etc.).

The Barbados tourism office has launched I Do Barbados, a website resource to learn everything about this island nation and having your destination wedding there. And we mean everything. This website is a one-stop-shop for everything you need.

Barbados is one of the few Carribean destinations that we haven't been to yet. So we may need to move this up on our list.

Our Honeymoon – The Atlantis

2007-11-30T22:06:00.000-05:00

We were married on Grand Bahama Island, but decided to go to a different island for the honeymoon. Based on a recommendation from a coworker, we chose to go to The Atlantis resort on New Providence and Paradise Island.

I guess we bought into the hype – the website, the marketing materials, etc. It seemed so adult and romantic. After a week with our families, we thought it was exactly what we wanted.

What we found was a HUGE resort that was wall-to-wall children. Atlantis is Disneyland on the beach. We estimated the average age at the place was somewhere south of 14. Not what we were looking for. We ended up spending a fair amount of time down the beach at the One And Only Ocean Club (where Lionel Ritchie was staying and we bumped into him several times).

We tried to get off the Atlantis property as much as possible. We went into Nassau for a day. And another day, we went to the other side of the island for scuba diving with Stuart Cove’s. This is a big dive outfit, but they do a good job with personal service. The Hollywood Bowl dive site is fantastic and we got to have a close encounter with some live lobsters.

We also spent a fair amount of time in the casino, where Laura played the roulette wheel with our wedding date and it hit. So we made a fair amount of money in the casino. But the other facilities, namely the restaurants, were very over priced and were of disappointing quality. Lance had to send his lobster back to the kitchen at the Bahamian Club because it was overcooked and rubbery (and then we got attitude from the staff for complaining about the inferior quality). We loved the food at Fathoms, but were disappointed in the large numbers of screaming children. The restaurants in the Marina Village were better, both in terms of quality and price. Our favorite was Carmine’s – one of our favorite restaurants back in New York, so we enjoyed it here.

In addition to honeymoons, The Atlantis also does destination weddings. We saw several weddings going on while we were there. The weddings were held out in the common areas, so you’re still dealing with lots of gawkers and people walking very close by, so think carefully about this one. At one wedding, a group of young girls in bathing suits decided to join right in on the wedding. There’s nothing inherently wrong with lots of children, it’s just helpful to know that’s what you’re getting before you show up there. If you want a “family friendly” wedding, this might be your place.

We’re glad we did it once (been there, done that). Had we done more research, we probably would have gone someplace else with a more romantic and sophisticated atmosphere.

Preston Bailey on Destination Weddings

2007-11-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

Wedding guru Preston Bailey, who partners on destination weddings with the Sandals Resorts, has an interview up on YouTube (more on destination weddings at Sandals next week). See the Preston Bailey interview:

Preston Bailey’s tips for destination weddings include:

Use the natural scenery
Use local vendors
Flexible activity schedule

We would agree with each of these.

One of the advantages of destination weddings are that the scenery (oftentimes a beach or a castle) forms the backdrop for your wedding. This means you can get away with less decorations, but can also use decorations that are native to the location where you are having your wedding.

Bailey recommends using local vendors. We would agree, but with a caveat. Using local vendors takes the hassle out of shipping lots of stuff. However, the caveat is that you might not always be able to find something you want in your location. For our Caribbean wedding, we took some tulle and ribbons from a local Michael’s craft store, but otherwise used the ocean as our backdrop.

Finally, have a flexible activity schedule. This is key. We found that having both flexible options and lots of options was important for guests. We had a couple of defined events (a welcome reception the night before, the wedding, a post-wedding cocktail party and then reception were all carved in stone). Then we had other events (renting wave runners, bar hopping in town, etc.) that were optional/elective events for those who wanted to participate.

These are great tips from Preston Bailey.

Note: We found this on YouTube and it was posted from something called Brideorama (a bridal video community). We’ve never used Brideorama, so can’t recommend it.

Environmentally Responsible Weddings

2007-11-26T09:07:00.000-05:00

Weddings in general, but especially destination weddings, can have a significant environmental impact. Sad, but true. It is important to try and minimize your environmental impact, both for your own personal satisfaction and for future generations.

One way to do this is through carbon offsets or carbon credits. According to Wikipedia: “Carbon credits are a key component of national and international emissions trading schemes… There are also many companies that sell carbon credits to commercial and individual customers who are interested in lowering their carbon footprint on a voluntary basis.” Carbon credits have received some criticism lately (and there have been some scams), so it’s important to do business with a reputable firm.

Essentially it works like this – you pay a little money to a company or nonprofit group to offset some aspect of your life (your car, your household energy use, etc.). The company or nonprofit uses the money to fund projects that generate environmentally-friendly power (i.e., wind power, methane, etc.) – these are projects that aren’t likely to be built, except with the support of people like you and us. The carbon credits are relatively inexpensive and range from $2-15 per month, or $25+ per year.

We are fans of two groups offering this service. The first is a non-profit organization called CarbonFund.org. They also offer a special ZeroCarbon Wedding – an 8-ton carbon offset, for $44. This is tax deductible. The second company is Native Energy. They are for-profit company, but specialize in building new projects (and actually offer specifics on the projects they fund).

We fully appreciate that weddings are expensive and this is probably one time in your life that you don’t have extra money laying around to buy carbon credits. Doing this is important. Please consider it.

Bridesmaid Dresses – Spring 2008 Collections

2007-11-24T22:40:00.000-05:00

The Spring 2008 collections are out. After the fall collections (god, they were ugly), spring is a refreshing change.

A good friend of ours has been looking a for a nice navy blue bridesmaid dress at a reasonable price. Well, she’s in luck! Ann Taylor Celebrations collection has added some new colors, including navy blue. The “Cornflower Blue” color is still a favorite of ours…and very popular with people having destination weddings.

Honeymoon Strategies

2007-11-21T11:19:00.000-05:00

Since a destination wedding, by default, includes some sort of travel, couples are inclined to tack the honeymoon onto the wedding. Sandals Resorts calls them a Weddingmoon. And there is some appeal in doing this since it minimizes time away from work and maximizes your travel budget.

However, if you have guests coming, you don’t really want them around on your honeymoon. You can either tolerate some guests hanging on (as they inevitably will be one or two who will) or you can think of some other options.

There are two strategies to cope with this:

Continue with the trip, but go to another location. This is what we did with our destination wedding in the Bahamas. We got married on one island, but then went to another island for the honeymoon. A friend of ours got married in France with a large entourage of family, but then went to Spain for their honeymoon.
Come home and take a separate honeymoon a few months later. This way, you get two trips for one occasion! This is definitely more expensive, but is nice to space out the festivities.

The right answer is the one that works for you!

Dominican Republic Travel Warning

2007-11-16T21:41:00.000-05:00

Two friends returned from the Dominican Republic with a sobering tale.

They were drinking in the resort bar two nights before they left. Several drinks in and that is all that they remember. They awoke the next morning, in their room, their cash was gone. And in the 9 hours of their drug-induced slumber (they were slipped something in their drinks), the robbers had maxed out their credit cards in the hotel casino. They never left the resort and the only people with them were hotel staff. This was an inside job.

Unfortunately, the hotel management and the local police were not very receptive and didn’t even want to take a police report. They seemed more interested in getting rid of my friends, didn’t want to take a police report and really didn’t want them to talk to any other guests. They were able to contest the charges via the credit card company (who reports a substantial increase in credit care fraud in the Dominican Republic).

If you are considering a destination wedding at one of the resorts in the Dominican Republic, we would urge you visit the State Department’s website for Dominican Republic Travel Warnings.

Reception Seating Anxiety

2007-10-01T08:17:00.000-05:00

There are few things that can cause more drama and angst than seating arrangements for the wedding reception. It’s a balancing act that can require tact, diplomacy and hard choices—especially if you have family drama.

We’ve seen a number of approaches that have worked well. If it is a larger sized wedding, you can assign guests to a table and then let them chose their own seats. If you have a mid-size wedding, you might assign seats at all the tables.

For us, we selected one very large family-size table (for about 20 people), but had reserved seating and name cards for the guests to find their assigned seats. This mixed up our families (and ensured the bride’s parents, no divorced, were not seated together).

Image source: http://www.imagebridal.com/starfish.html

Wedding Flowers for Destination Weddings

2007-08-21T07:56:00.000-05:00

Flowers can easily be one of the most expensive and headache-inducing parts of the wedding. It's not just a question of what kind and how many, but what's in season, what will last the length of the ceremony or reception, what's right for the location and more.

More often than not, having a destination wedding makes these questions a little bit simpler because most of the decoration and ambiance comes from the location. The other good (maybe?) news is that certain flowers are extremely difficult to get in the islands, so your choices are narrowed for you. Plus, there are typically a wide variety of beautiful indigenous flowers available, so you can incorporate the flavor of your location relatively inexpensively.

For our wedding, we spent numerous hours combing through photos on The Knot and elsewhere looking for beautiful bouquets that incorporated a little bit of blue to fit with the color of the wedding. In the end, we decided that nothing was completely perfect but it was all likely to turn out well anyway. We gave a few pictures to the wedding planner and crossed her fingers. Once again, the planner came through with two beautiful bouquets for the bride and maid of honor and lovely boutonnieres as well.

For people having a destination wedding in the US, there are nearly unlimited options for variety, price and number of flowers. Two relatively simple and budget-conscious options are Costco and Proflowers.com. Most people think of bulk mayonnaise and giant vats of tomato sauce when they think of Costco, but the truth is that the warehouse chain has slowly but surely been becoming more upscale, and the flowers are quite beautiful (they even offer bulk and special occasion options). Proflowers offers an even wider assortment of colors and varieties for bouquets and centerpieces. If the quality is at all comparable to their normal flower service, they're likely to be very nice.

Venting on Wedding Etiquette

2007-08-16T12:03:00.001-05:00

There’s the tendency for the wedding couple to become so self-absorbed and consumed with the details that skip on etiquette. This is bad form…

We were recently invited to a wedding that starts at 4:00pm on a Saturday. The reception starts at 6:30pm and there is NO dinner! Only appetizers. Now we can graze with the best of them, but it really is bad form not to have a dinner.

To top it off, we only received the wedding invitation three weeks before the actual wedding. (We’d received a save the date about 6 months out)

Folks, have some courtesy. Think about your wedding as if you are attending it as a guest. Think about what you would expect. Your guests are giving up a lot to be there with you and share in your special day. Show them some respect.

10 Things Your Wedding Planner Won’t Tell You

2007-08-09T12:49:00.001-05:00

An article by Renee DeFranco in Smart Money called “10 Things Your Wedding Planner Won’t Tell You” really caught our eye!

You can read the full article, but here are the 10 things with our commentary:

“Something old, something new – and everything over the top.”—This is the bigger-is-better idea. Although, the article seems to paint the need for a wedding planner as a negative. We don’t see it that way. We’re busy professionals and needed the help.
“You say you need a reference? Well, you’re looking at her.”—This one is true. We found a number of self-proclaimed wedding planners. Some seemed great. Others just seemed clueless.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you calm, cool and oblivious.”—This is the best. A good wedding planner can insulate you from the drama. Chances are good, there will be enough drama (between families, etc.)…you really don’t need any more.
“I won’t necessarily be there on your big day.”—And this is a big mistake. If your planner intends to phone it in, find another planner. And “venue coordinators” were completely worthless for us. Venue coordinators were the whole reason we hired a planner in the first place. We were going to a luxury destination thousands of miles away, we couldn’t hold their hand.
“Congratulations, Gloria and Bill…um, I mean Marcia and Tom”—There’s no getting around the revolving door, especially at destination resorts. However, you planner should absolutely focus on you and make sure the resort does. Again, another vote against venue coordinators and for wedding planners.
“Mixed marriage? Ka-ching!”—This is interesting, but wasn’t really relevant. We are from very different religious backgrounds, but religion wasn’t very important to us. However, it may be different for you.
“The early bride gets the worm.”—This is where traditional weddings and destination weddings differ. In the destination world, planners and venues don’t really want to work with you over a year in advance. We found one that did. We were worried when she seemed a little unresponsive a few months out, but needed to take a few deep breaths and realize she does this all the time. We’re glad we relaxed!
“Getting married in Hawaii? I’ll bring the suntan lotion!”—Destination weddings are big business. This one discusses hiring planners local to you to plan the destination event—not really a good idea. Find a planner that is local to the destination since they will have the contacts. Also, there is a flawed premise here that destination weddings are somehow more expensive. We could not disagree more!
“Custom silk wedding fans, anyone?”—Sure there are vendors who will try to push stuff on you. There always are. You still need to make the event your own.
“You don’t really need me.”—True, you don’t NEED a wedding planner. But it sure made our lives easier.

This short little article is well worth the read!

The Wedding Toast, Part II

2007-08-07T10:39:00.000-05:00

The wedding toast is an integral part of the wedding reception. The toast is the opportunity for all guests to raise their glasses, join with you and extend their wishes to you for a long, happy and prosperous life.

In The Wedding Toast, Part I, we discussed the various beverages that could be used for a destination wedding toast.

However, the couple will also have to make the decision who they want to do the wedding toast. Traditionally, the toast is usually done by the Maid of Honor and the Best Man. For us, our wedding was a bit less traditional. We had toasts from the grandmother of the bride, the father of the bride, the sister of the bride, the brother of the groom and the best man. Five toasts are a bit much. You really should try to only have two or three.

However, it is best if you let those who will be making the wedding toast know well in advance. We did not do this and had some interesting toasts! (more like a roast!)

Do not underestimate the importance of the wedding toast, since it will be one of the most memorable parts of your wedding day!

Wedding Toast, Part I

2007-08-06T08:21:00.000-05:00

The wedding toast, traditionally with champagne, leaves other options for couples having destination weddings. Sure, you can stay traditional and have a champagne toast. Or you can spice things up a bit.

At our destination wedding, guests could choose between Bahama Mamas, Pina Coladas or Goombay Smashes. These proved to be wildly successful. Most of the guests made a full tour, sampling each of the three specialty cocktails.

If you want a more traditional toast with bubbly, but without the bite or dry taste of champagne, another suggestion could be Italian Prosecco or Franciacorta (which are both white sparkling wines, but are milder than French champagne). We became big fans of Franciacorta when we toured the Berlucchi winery in northern Italy in May.

You can also do both—have specialty cocktails throughout the reception and dinner, while saving a nice Prosecco for a formal toast.

A final word on wedding toasts – Regardless of which beverage you chose for your wedding, please use crystal or real glass. Nothing says tacky like those plastic champagne flutes. Yes, even if you are having a beach wedding, use real glass. Most caterers can accommodate glass for the wedding toast and use plastic for everything else.

Back Online

2007-08-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

We’ve been terribly negligent in keeping up with the blog with our trips to Europe and the beach. But we will be getting back on track now. Thanks for sticking with us.

Destination Wedding Make-up

2007-07-02T22:08:00.000-05:00

One of the biggest fears have is not looking absolutely perfect on their wedding day. Given the nature of destination weddings, most brides don't have a professional there to do their makeup for them.

In this case, you have a few options—

You can find a spa or salon in your destination location. Since you are not from the area, you will have to judge the quality sight unseen. And if it is in a resort location, this can be a very expensive option.

You could fly in your favorite makeup artist to do you up! This will guarantee the quality...and a rather large expense.

Or you can do the do-it-yourself approach. For this, you should seek out a professional consultation several months before going and then practice at home. Most quality department stores and MAC stores will do these consultations for you.

No matter your option, you should remember that water-based makeup looks the best and most natural in your photographs...however it can smear if you cry.

You should probably pick up a range of products before you go—

Liquid foundation & concealer

Loose or pressed powder

Eye shadow

Waterproof Mascara (especially important if you are a crier)

Supplies like Lash Curler, brushes, sponges, etc.

Lipstick

Gloss

Lip Pencil

When applying the make up, put on a button up shirt first! And when you put on the dress, be sure to put a towel over your face. Be very careful if you add any touch up makeup in your dress. We almost had a disaster spilling lip gloss on the dress...but our photographer came to the rescue and got it out just in time!

Italian Weddings – Overview

2007-06-21T08:26:00.000-05:00

Few things in this world could be more romantic than a destination wedding in Italy. The country's natural beauty, rich cultural history, and fantastic food lend itself perfectly to a destination wedding.The country is quite easy to navigate, but having a specialist assist you could be a tremendous assistance, especially working with vendors.

Planning your season is crucial. We were there in early June and it was already starting to get warm, especially in the South. By July or August, we imagine it could be unbearable. But late Spring and early Fall would be particularly nice.

Italy has a rich and varied geography. Do you want a mountain wedding in the lake region or Dolomites? Or is a quiet Tuscan villa more your style? Do your research carefully and pick the style that suits your personality best.

We will review specific regions in future postings.

European Destination Weddings

2007-06-17T16:43:00.001-05:00

We have been quiet over the last few weeks because we have been in Europe investigating destination weddings there.

We will be posting more information about European destination weddings in the coming days.

European Weddings - An Overview

2007-05-24T11:05:00.000-05:00

When some people think romantic destination weddings, they look to European locations like Tuscany, France and other areas. Getting married in a beautiful hillside village can provide a memorable start to your life together.

We are currently in Italy learning about European destination weddings. This type of wedding lends itself to eloping or very small groups (just parents and siblings, etc.). European weddings are very different than a resort in the tropics where your guests are catered to. Logistics and language considerations can present major challenges.

For these reasons, it is also very important to engage a local wedding planner (again, this is a local planner, not a tour operator). The planner can help arrange the details with caterers, cakes, decorations, etc.

We will review specific aspects of European weddings in the future.