10 Things Your Wedding Planner Won’t Tell You

An article by Renee DeFranco in Smart Money called “10 Things Your Wedding Planner Won’t Tell You” really caught our eye!

You can read the full article, but here are the 10 things with our commentary:

1. “Something old, something new – and everything over the top.”—This is the bigger-is-better idea. Although, the article seems to paint the need for a wedding planner as a negative. We don’t see it that way. We’re busy professionals and needed the help.
2. “You say you need a reference? Well, you’re looking at her.”—This one is true. We found a number of self-proclaimed wedding planners. Some seemed great. Others just seemed clueless.
3. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you calm, cool and oblivious.”—This is the best. A good wedding planner can insulate you from the drama. Chances are good, there will be enough drama (between families, etc.)…you really don’t need any more.
4. “I won’t necessarily be there on your big day.”—And this is a big mistake. If your planner intends to phone it in, find another planner. And “venue coordinators” were completely worthless for us. Venue coordinators were the whole reason we hired a planner in the first place. We were going to a luxury destination thousands of miles away, we couldn’t hold their hand.
5. “Congratulations, Gloria and Bill…um, I mean Marcia and Tom”—There’s no getting around the revolving door, especially at destination resorts. However, you planner should absolutely focus on you and make sure the resort does. Again, another vote against venue coordinators and for wedding planners.
6. “Mixed marriage? Ka-ching!”—This is interesting, but wasn’t really relevant. We are from very different religious backgrounds, but religion wasn’t very important to us. However, it may be different for you.
7. “The early bride gets the worm.”—This is where traditional weddings and destination weddings differ. In the destination world, planners and venues don’t really want to work with you over a year in advance. We found one that did. We were worried when she seemed a little unresponsive a few months out, but needed to take a few deep breaths and realize she does this all the time. We’re glad we relaxed!
8. “Getting married in Hawaii? I’ll bring the suntan lotion!”—Destination weddings are big business. This one discusses hiring planners local to you to plan the destination event—not really a good idea. Find a planner that is local to the destination since they will have the contacts. Also, there is a flawed premise here that destination weddings are somehow more expensive. We could not disagree more!
9. “Custom silk wedding fans, anyone?”—Sure there are vendors who will try to push stuff on you. There always are. You still need to make the event your own.
10. “You don’t really need me.”—True, you don’t NEED a wedding planner. But it sure made our lives easier.

This short little article is well worth the read!

The Wedding Toast, Part II

The wedding toast is an integral part of the wedding reception. The toast is the opportunity for all guests to raise their glasses, join with you and extend their wishes to you for a long, happy and prosperous life.

In The Wedding Toast, Part I, we discussed the various beverages that could be used for a destination wedding toast.

However, the couple will also have to make the decision who they want to do the wedding toast. Traditionally, the toast is usually done by the Maid of Honor and the Best Man. For us, our wedding was a bit less traditional. We had toasts from the grandmother of the bride, the father of the bride, the sister of the bride, the brother of the groom and the best man. Five toasts are a bit much. You really should try to only have two or three.

However, it is best if you let those who will be making the wedding toast know well in advance. We did not do this and had some interesting toasts! (more like a roast!)

Do not underestimate the importance of the wedding toast, since it will be one of the most memorable parts of your wedding day!

Wedding Toast, Part I

The wedding toast, traditionally with champagne, leaves other options for couples having destination weddings. Sure, you can stay traditional and have a champagne toast. Or you can spice things up a bit.

At our destination wedding, guests could choose between Bahama Mamas, Pina Coladas or Goombay Smashes. These proved to be wildly successful. Most of the guests made a full tour, sampling each of the three specialty cocktails.

If you want a more traditional toast with bubbly, but without the bite or dry taste of champagne, another suggestion could be Italian Prosecco or Franciacorta (which are both white sparkling wines, but are milder than French champagne). We became big fans of Franciacorta when we toured the Berlucchi winery in northern Italy in May.

You can also do both—have specialty cocktails throughout the reception and dinner, while saving a nice Prosecco for a formal toast.

A final word on wedding toasts – Regardless of which beverage you chose for your wedding, please use crystal or real glass. Nothing says tacky like those plastic champagne flutes. Yes, even if you are having a beach wedding, use real glass. Most caterers can accommodate glass for the wedding toast and use plastic for everything else.

Back Online

We’ve been terribly negligent in keeping up with the blog with our trips to Europe and the beach. But we will be getting back on track now. Thanks for sticking with us.

Destination Wedding Make-up

One of the biggest fears have is not looking absolutely perfect on their wedding day. Given the nature of destination weddings, most brides don't have a professional there to do their makeup for them.

In this case, you have a few options—

1. You can find a spa or salon in your destination location. Since you are not from the area, you will have to judge the quality sight unseen. And if it is in a resort location, this can be a very expensive option.


2. You could fly in your favorite makeup artist to do you up! This will guarantee the quality...and a rather large expense.


3. Or you can do the do-it-yourself approach. For this, you should seek out a professional consultation several months before going and then practice at home. Most quality department stores and MAC stores will do these consultations for you.

No matter your option, you should remember that water-based makeup looks the best and most natural in your photographs...however it can smear if you cry.

You should probably pick up a range of products before you go—

• Liquid foundation & concealer


• Loose or pressed powder


• Eye shadow


• Waterproof Mascara (especially important if you are a crier)


• Supplies like Lash Curler, brushes, sponges, etc.


• Lipstick


• Gloss


• Lip Pencil
  

When applying the make up, put on a button up shirt first! And when you put on the dress, be sure to put a towel over your face. Be very careful if you add any touch up makeup in your dress. We almost had a disaster spilling lip gloss on the dress...but our photographer came to the rescue and got it out just in time!

Italian Weddings – Overview

Few things in this world could be more romantic than a destination wedding in Italy. The country's natural beauty, rich cultural history, and fantastic food lend itself perfectly to a destination wedding.The country is quite easy to navigate, but having a specialist assist you could be a tremendous assistance, especially working with vendors.

Planning your season is crucial. We were there in early June and it was already starting to get warm, especially in the South. By July or August, we imagine it could be unbearable. But late Spring and early Fall would be particularly nice.

Italy has a rich and varied geography. Do you want a mountain wedding in the lake region or Dolomites? Or is a quiet Tuscan villa more your style? Do your research carefully and pick the style that suits your personality best.

We will review specific regions in future postings.

European Destination Weddings

We have been quiet over the last few weeks because we have been in Europe investigating destination weddings there.

We will be posting more information about European destination weddings in the coming days.

European Weddings - An Overview

When some people think romantic destination weddings, they look to European locations like Tuscany, France and other areas. Getting married in a beautiful hillside village can provide a memorable start to your life together.

We are currently in Italy learning about European destination weddings. This type of wedding lends itself to eloping or very small groups (just parents and siblings, etc.). European weddings are very different than a resort in the tropics where your guests are catered to. Logistics and language considerations can present major challenges.

For these reasons, it is also very important to engage a local wedding planner (again, this is a local planner, not a tour operator). The planner can help arrange the details with caterers, cakes, decorations, etc.

We will review specific aspects of European weddings in the future.

Wedding Websites, Part 2

Several readers posted comments to my previous entry Customized Wedding Websites that I thought deserved a reply.

Bridezilla noted that if you do make a wedding website, you should include a enclosure card with the invitation so your guests know about it. I wholeheartedly endorse this and we did this for our wedding. We’ve heard of couples actually printing the website on the invitation. In discussions on some wedding boards, this is generally viewed as bad form and a bit tacky (even for a destination wedding), but I’m not convinced. The decision really needs to flow from your personalities.

HamiHarri replied that she made a website for her traditional wedding. These websites lend themselves to destination weddings because of all of the logistics involved (not to mention the beautiful destination photos).

Customized Wedding Websites

One of the most challenging aspects of a destination wedding is keeping your guests informed of the planning of your wedding. To keep everyone up to date, we recommend developing a small wedding website.

Thankfully, there are number of vendors that provide easy-to-use website systems for reasonable prices (less than $75 for a year). If you can write an e-mail, you can do a website with these companies. Some good vendors are:

• Wedquarters (we used them; they can also burn it onto CD later for a keepsake)
• Celebrate Our Lives Wedding Websites (www.celebrateourlives.com)
• Wedding Witness (www.weddingwitness.com)
  

On your wedding website, you can tell your guests important details of your wedding including:

• Travel information
• Hotel booking
• Photos of venue
• Ideas of other activities in the area (golf, scuba diving, sightseeing, etc.)
• Engagement photos
• Links to registries
  

Now, many people use blogs for this purpose. However, your guests don’t care about all the details and don’t want to sort through the blog chronologically. These websites make it much easier to present the information topically.

Do your guests a favor and make a website!

Covering the basics – Hiring a local wedding planner

Planning a wedding, especially a destination wedding, can be very difficult. Usually, you are not familiar with the location and local vendors, so having someone to assist can make a world of difference!

By wedding planner, we don’t mean a wedding vendor or tour operators—these folks usually just package hotels, airfare, and ground transit. We mean a true wedding planner who will help with flowers, cakes, logistics, negotiating and securing contracts with hotels, arranging music and handling all your needs.

Some hotels and resorts have their own on-site planners, some don’t. In general, we found these on-site planners to be only moderately helpful. They were responsive to get you to sign a contract, but not helpful to answer your detailed questions. We started to feel like just a number—something we definitely didn’t want for our special day.

We quickly learned that there are a number of independent destination wedding planners in several locations. These folks are local and know the good, the bad and the ugly about local vendors. Since they are not affiliated with the hotel/resort directly, they have more freedom in recommending good vendors, not just the ones that have contracts with the resort.

We also learned that finding these independent wedding planners is a bit of a needle in a haystack. We found our planner, And the Two Become One in the Bahamas, through a review that someone had posted in the Knot Bios. Seeking out reviews or friends who have utilized their services can be very helpful.

To get an idea of all of the things that an independent wedding planner can do for you, check out the website for Ceremonies of St. John. They help with everything from coordinating the marriage license to making sure the color on the cake is right.

The Dress

Ah, the dress. For most brides, the dress is the most important part of the wedding. It sets the tone for the festivities, and, let's be honest, the dress gives every woman the opportunity to be a princess for a day. However, dresses for destination weddings can be more complicated than dresses for traditional weddings because of two particular factors—traveling with the dress and dealing with the weather and location at the destination.

The actual act of getting the dress from point to point is not as difficult as one might imagine. Most airlines are very willing to help brides transport their gowns safely, and flight attendants will often do their best to make room in the first class closet. It can help to approach the gate attendant before the flight boards and/or to speak to the flight attendant as soon as you step on the plane. (And it should go without saying that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.) Our experience - and we ultimately flew with the dress four times - was seamless, even on Bahamas Air, which didn't even have overhead compartments large enough for standard sized carry-ons. Some people find it useful to take a steamer with them or utilize hotel services once they arrive at the destination to take care of any wrinkles. Laura had a somewhat "poufy dress," so we didn't encounter any wrinkle issues.

The weather and physical location of the wedding can also be significant factors in deciding on the dress. If your destination is often very warm or humid, you're probably better off with a gown made of lightweight fabric that doesn't have a lot of underskirts or netting. Brides getting married directly on the beach may want to avoid long trains simply because of the messiness of sand getting caught in the dress. All these considerations are important, but the decision is completely individual. If a bride has had her heart set on a "big dress" with a train for years and that's what makes her feel like a beautiful bride, a little sand getting in the way won't particularly matter.

Popular dress brands include: Amsale, Alfred Angelo, Vera Wang, Jim Hjelm, Maggie Sottero, Watters & Watters, Melissa Sweet, Priscilla of Boston, Reem Acra and Monique Lhullier. Two very popular discount bridal stores with very positive reviews: Pearl's Place and House of Brides.