God Awful Wedding Presents

We recently posted about couples giving each other wedding presents. Some gentleman posted a comment asking about giving his wife a Babylicious necklace of himself. Babylicious are engraved etchings from designer Barry Kronen. Our initial reaction was that this was probably a joke. However, at the risk he’s serious, we need to address this.

Big gold jewelry is either very ethnic or very dated (circa 1990s). If ethnic jewelry fits your cultural demographics, OK. If not, seriously rethink this. A wedding present should be either extremely meaningful or classy. A Babylicious necklace of yourself probably doesn’t qualify.

You’re going to get enough god awful wedding presents, you don’t need to add another one. Our worst wedding present was a couple’s devotional – great if you’re Christian, embarrassing if you’re not, super awkward when the author is a Christian minister in the midst of having an affair…with a man.

Meet the Expert: Donnie Brown

In this week’s Meet the Experts column, we interview Donnie Brown – wedding expert and host of the Style Network show Whose Wedding is it Anyway? Donnie has planned and executed more than 2,000 weddings, including many destination weddings.


How have the needs of engaged couples changed over time? What are they looking for now that they weren’t looking for a year ago?

A year ago people were less worried about the economy and their wedding expenses. They are definitely looking for better deals now than they were then. Everyone has had to pull back their budget due to the fact that so many people have lost money in the stock market. Therefore, good deals are at the forefront of their minds when planning their weddings. Last year it was about saving the ecology. Now it is still about green but more about leaving some green in their pocket.


What trends do you see in destination weddings for 2009-2010?

a. If you are getting married in a non-English speaking country, in order to forgo any hassles, consider getting married legally at home perhaps with a justice of the peace and then get married symbolically at your destination wedding.

b. There is a resort in Fiji that has been built totally underwater. You can actually reside at the upscale resort called Poseidon and get married 40 feet under water. There are 24 underwater suites as well as event venues.


If a couple is on the fence about having a destination wedding, why should they consider it?

Couples are opting for destination weddings these days due to the economy and their personal wedding budget and its limitations. When you do a wedding at a destination, you can generally control your guest list by virtue of realizing many of the guests that would have come to your wedding had it been local will not be able to pay for the extra related expenses incurred by traveling to a location. Many couples are alleviating the large cost by doing the wedding in the Caribbean or Mexico so that it is not so far for them, and the immediate family and closest friends will hopefully still be able to make it. If they go abroad for their nuptials, they may find that they have limited themselves to only a small handful of people.


On the show Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?, we see a lot of wedding drama and weddings are notorious for drama. What is the single biggest source of wedding drama that you see and how can couples minimize it in our destination wedding planning?

Many couples have problems making decisions about how many people to invite to their wedding. It is a real source of concern because the more people you invite, the more the wedding will cost. They are concerned about diluting their wedding funds with guests that they have never met or perhaps seen since they were very young. There are some things that cost the same whether or not you have a large guest count or a small one such as attire and entertainment. But the big ticket items such as floral/décor and food and beverage can increase greatly for every person added to the list. Another good reason for destination weddings. The one thing to note here is that you can lose a cherished family member by doing a destination wedding such as a grandparent who cannot afford or is unwilling to travel a long distance. As for the drama; I have seen more family and couple fighting over the guest count and budget than any other component of the wedding. It all boils down to the budget.


What are the advantages and disadvantages of using a wedding coordinator for destination weddings?

When you plan a destination wedding there are many cultural and communication difficulties depending on where you plan your event. A wedding planner who is up to speed on these issues can alleviate the problems by cutting through the difficulties and ensure a trouble-free and perfect event. You don’t always have to hire the local wedding planner to travel to the wedding site and oversee the wedding implementation. Often, if the wedding is planned for you by your coordinator, you can then rely on the wedding expert at the destination to pick up the ball after the planning is complete and carry out your wishes with perfection.


What is the most interesting and unique destination wedding you ever planned? What made it so memorable?

I very much enjoyed the wedding we did on Married Away Season one. It was in Jamaica at Half Moon Resort and that is one of my favorite places on earth. It is a lovely location with people that treat every single person on property as if they were royalty. Celebrities flock to this resort every year because of the expert staff and incredible customer service. I recommend anyone looking for a tropical wedding to look into this resort. It is situated on 450 acres of private and secure land and has spared no expense in creating the perfect vacation and wedding location site for adults or families. And being in Jamaica, it is near the US and convenient for travel.


Destination weddings tend to be a little smaller than traditional weddings. In your opinion, what is a good size to strive for in a destination wedding?

Most destination weddings that I plan have between 25 to 40 guests including the couple. However, I have planned destination weddings with up to 175 people. It has everything to do with the couple, their guests, their pocketbook and their willingness to travel to be there for the wedding.


What is the next big thing in destination weddings that you see couples doing?

I think that more couples will be doing weddings on cruise ships. The cruise lines are becoming more interested in creating packages for larger groups that make the ticket price more affordable. As well, you can actually plan your wedding on one of the destinations the ship has scheduled on its itinerary. You can have your ceremony on the beach on a remote island all created and conducted by the cruise line’s personnel. Then, you can have the reception on board the ship. It is also a wonderful way for people to be able to be together when they want and have separation from the rest of the group when they want.


As a vendor with Donnie Brown Weddings & Events, what is the single biggest piece of advice you would want to give couples prior to their destination weddings? What do you wish couples who contact you would know about working with a wedding vendor?

A wedding planner is a must. You need a planner to insure your dreams are carried out perfectly. Don’t try to do this on your own. As well, try to have a list of questions pre-prepared for every person you are hiring to implement a component of your wedding. It is critical that you know everything you need to know about every vendor and insure that nothing slips through the cracks. I once had a local vendor on an island arrange for a disc jockey to supplement the steel drum band to cut costs. The DJ showed up with a two CD changer and no music. It was fun to run around finding music to actually have something to play for dancing. The African-American couple had Michael Buble for their first dance. Probably not what they had in mind, but in the end it worked.

Wedding Weight Loss

For many women, weight loss goes hand-in-hand with getting married. No one wants to wear a white (a notoriously slimming color, right?) dress and look unappealing in their wedding photos. Plus, most girls grow up waiting for their wedding day to be the best day of their life, so of course they want to look and feel their best.

An entire industry has been built around losing weight in preparation for the wedding. Everything from Bridal Bootcamp and Buff Brides to your local fitness club promise to help women get in shape for their special day. While I admit that my destination wedding (and particularly my wedding dress) was a huge motivation to slim down, I really wanted to get healthier and more toned as a life change. That meant the tried and true standby of eating less and moving more.

One tool that was particularly helpful in my journey to get healthy was SparkPeople.com. SparkPeople is a totally free website that helps you keep track of what you eat and how much you exercise, but it allows help you set other goals such as drinking enough water, stopping self-critical thoughts and doing things for others. It's certainly a weight loss website, but it's also about overall wellness. The site also features numerous message boards that provide a lot of support from people going through the same experiences.

From the time of our engagement to our wedding, I lost 75 pounds. When I ordered my dress 9 months before the wedding, I ordered the size I was at the time -- I've lost and regained weight in the past and didn't want to get stuck with a dress that was too small. By the time my destination wedding rolled around, I couldn't have been more excited to have it taken in several sizes.

There are a lot of different programs out there. You just need to find the one that works with you and stick with it. If I can lose 75 pounds before my wedding, anyone can do it!

Wedding Presents

In some cultures, the giving of small gifts between the wedding couple is an important part of the wedding tradition. In recent years, that tradition has gone mainstream and many couples exchange small gifts. And in the bigger-is-better world we live in, the small wedding gifts have given way to larger and more elaborate tokens of affection.

For us, we decided that we would not buy each other presents for the wedding. Like many couples, we were paying for our own destination wedding ourselves and we did not need the additional expense. Dear husband decided to skip on our agreement and purchased me a beautiful pair of black Tahitian pearl earrings as a wedding surprise. And was I surprised!

When we returned from the honeymoon, I looked into buying my husband a nice leather briefcase (he’s a big fan of Bric’s bags). Even if you don’t want do something expensive, a small, meaningful wedding gift can be an important part of your wedding experience.

Meet the Experts

For the last several years, we have been sharing our experiences on this blog. But the commentary has been just that – our experience. However, over the next few months, we will be interviewing of experts in the field of destination weddings and sharing those conversations with you. We are extremely excited by this and look forward to sharing their recommendations with you.

Watch for our Meet the Experts column soon!

Destination Weddings 101

We want to revisit the basics of destination weddings.

For us, a destination wedding isn’t just a “wedding away” or “elopement.” Sure, it’s possible to get married someplace else (geographically speaking). And while that is a wedding away, it does not count as a destination wedding in our book.

For us, a true destination wedding is a wedding in which the destination itself becomes an important and essential part of the wedding experience. The destination itself ties into the overall theme of the wedding. And the experience of the wedding could not be repeated in a different location.

For us destination weddings differ from eloping because the venue itself is important. When eloping, the venue becomes secondary (or is not important at all). Historically, eloping meant getting married in secret. We don’t subscribe to that definition. For us eloping is just getting married “someplace else,” but the someplace doesn’t really matter. It could be Las Vegas or some other city because it is convenient. It could be a neighboring town or in a different country.

It’s important for you to decide if you want an elopement (wedding away) or a true destination wedding. It is critical for you to know in your mind exactly what you want. Some venues and locations try to sell “destination weddings” that are nothing more than elopements. You need to ask questions of the venue and ensure that their idea of a destination wedding matches yours.

Location Report: Destination Weddings in Dubai

We recently returned from the UAE and Dubai. Dubai is amazing and there are some fantastic beach resorts there. Of particular note, we enjoyed the Habtoor Grand resort and the One and Only.

However Dubai is located in the Islamic state of the United Arab Emirates (UAE). Civil weddings are not possible. You need to get married in a church. It is extremely helpful if you are both of the same religion as mixed-religion marriages introduce a significant level of complexity. A blood test is required. And perhaps most difficult is that Dubai and the UAE explicitly prohibit those in the country on a visitor’s visa from marrying (effectively eliminating the country as a potential destination wedding hotspot).

This is a shame since Dubai and the UAE are so idyllic. Warm winter weather, killer beaches, tremendous shopping and amazing restaurants could make Dubai the must-go-to location for trendy destination weddings. If Dubai Ruler Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum allowed his country to modernize, Dubai and the UAE could be a major center for destination weddings.

The Legality of Destination Weddings

The first question we had in planning our destination wedding was whether the marriage would be legally recognized in the United States.

The U.S. State Department actually has a website for U.S. citizens interested in getting married in a foreign country.

You need to follow the legal procedures of the country where you will be married. Most countries have residency requirements (the length of time before the wedding you need to be in the country). In the Bahamas, the residency requirement was one day. However, Tahiti has a residency requirement of 30 days, essentially eliminating it as a potential location for destination weddings.

You will need to produce legal documentation (usually your passports), but could also include birth certificates, death certificates (widow/widower) and/or divorce decrees. Since this was the first marriage for both us, we only needed our passports and copies of our birth certificates. In the Bahamas, we also needed to go through a brief interview with a local official (about 10 minutes). We did not need to do a blood test, which can be a major issue for some people getting married in some countries (including Mexico).

The other major issue that people encounter is getting their marriage certificates/licenses translated into English (which is required for your marriage to be legal in the U.S.). The official language of the Bahamas was English, so we did not have any troubles. We wisely obtained multiple notarized copies of our license, which came in handy when we got home. We needed extra copies of the license for the name change.

Destination weddings can introduce some additional hopes you might need to jump through with respect to legal issues, but it is not a major problem.

Health Considerations for Destination Weddings

Given the tendency for ever more increasingly exotic destination weddings, health considerations can be extremely important. Some of the places where people have destination weddings are in remote places in the developing world. It is important to make sure your vaccinations are up to date. The more remote your wedding and honeymoon locations, the more critical this becomes.

There’s good reason to do so, more than half of Americans traveling abroad will become sick. Of these, about 8% will need to see a doctor. That’s almost a 1-in-10 chance of needing medical attention. The good news is that the most common illnesses are for diarrhea or skin conditions (rash, sunburn, etc.). When you travel for your destination wedding, you should take medication in case you get sick.

But there are other illnesses that can’t be treated with over-the-counter medications. All travelers should be up to date on their normal immunizations, which include: diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, polio, MMR (measles, mumps and rubella), penumococcus, H.influenza type B, and the annual flu vaccine. Different countries might require additional vaccines: Hepatitis A, hepatitis B, meningococcal disease, typhoid fever and possibly rabies. Of this latter group, hepatitis A is the most important since it can be transmitted by impure food or water.

This shouldn’t scare or alarm you. Most resorts, even in the developing world, are very safe and should not concern you. However, it’s your wedding and honeymoon – do you want to take the risk? The vaccinations are good for many years (some for life), so the temporary discomfort and inconvenience is worth the risk to make sure you are protected.

Has Ann Taylor Canceled Celebrations?

We’re going to a friend’s destination wedding later this month and I need a light blue dress. From past experience, we’ve had very good luck with Ann Taylor Celebrations line (both at our own wedding and for a friend's wedding). However, our local Ann Taylor store seems to have stopped carrying it and I’m wondering if Ann Taylor has cancelled the Celebrations line (seriously disappointing!).

The Ann Taylor Celebrations line has been a godsend to destination wedding brides. The dresses are good quality, relatively inexpensive, can be obtained at stores nationwide and come in a wide range of sizes so alterations are minimal.

I hope this is a temporary outage and not a full cancellation of the Celebrations line.

U.S. Wedding Travel

Over the last few months, we have been traveling back and forth to Europe quite a bit. Through our travels, we’ve met many young people from Europe traveling to the U.S. for destination weddings.

If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. In the U.S., there are more locations, more options, more venues and more vendors. Given the weaknesses of the U.S. dollar against the Euro, it’s also a lot cheaper for them (although the dollar has bounced back a little over the last two months).

With that said, there are big changes to the U.S. Visa Waiver Program coming tomorrow. The Visa Waiver Program is for residents of certain countries to travel to the U.S. without a visa – mostly Western European countries.

Effective tomorrow, if you are part of the Visa Waiver Program (i.e., you don’t need a visa to travel to the U.S.), you must still register with the U.S. Government. This new registration system is called ESTA (Electronic System for Travel Authorization). You can fill the form out on the Internet and approvals take seconds. Once completed, you will be able to travel to the U.S.

The program is designed to give U.S. law enforcement more time to screen for potential terrorists. Unfortunately, this means it takes more time for non-U.S. residents to enter the U.S. (and more hassles).

If you are thinking about a destination wedding in the U.S., you should be aware of this additional step you will need to go through. And if you are a destination wedding vendor in the U.S., you should consider mentioning this to your foreign clients so they aren’t caught by surprise.

Breaking the Silence

Happy New Year! 2008 ended very quietly for us. We received dozens of messages from readers wondering what happened. The truth is, we spent much of the fall traveling, including trips across the U.S. (Texas, Illinois and Florida) and also overseas (including Spain, Gibraltar and Morocco).

With all the traveling, it didn’t give us much of an opportunity to blog. Sorry about that!

We’re back. Hopefully we’ll get back on our weekly blog schedule soon. Thanks for your patience!